There's always room for another

Chapter 12: 2.5 - The filling of the cracks

2.5

Yongsun still visited the memorial, but not as often as she did anymore. Her therapist had settled some of her guilt by reminding her that it was alright to move on, that she wasn't forgetting - not necessarily.

(Yongsun doesn't exactly plan on clearing out her apartment anytime soon either, so that helped the anxiety quite a bit.)

It sent a pang through her when she noticed that there were less additions to it each time she went. As if, like her, people were beginning to let go. To move on.

But it was nice still to see it there, to stand by it and look out over the water and find it harder and harder to remember exactly how it happened.

(Memory, as her therapist had explained, was a fickle thing.)

(It never truly was absolute and true.)

(Rather, it was malleable and untrustworthy, prone to exaggeration and suggestion.)

(Despite how much humans pretended otherwise.)

Seulgi arrives slightly later than they'd planned, but Yongsun doesn't comment on it. Instead, she held out their usual coffees, waiting patiently as Seulgi took it breathlessly, wiping away the sweat trickling down her cheek.

"Thanks."

"Running from something?" Yongsun teased, raising an eyebrow elegantly.

(She'd learnt that from Byulyi, in fact.)

(Infuriating idiot, she thought fondly.)

"Oh ha ha, very funny." Seulgi rolled her eyes while she took a long drink. "Gods, my parents drive me crazy sometimes."

"I remember." Yongsun laughed, pleased for the wind that tugged at her hair. "Coming home for the summer was always something I looked forward to and hated at the same time."

"Yeah, it's nice, but - it's not the same." Seulgi began picking at the sleeve, trying to be nonchalant. "I mean, besides the obvious."

"What's up?" Yongsun hadn't asked much about Byulyi's family, especially since Seulgi didn't bring it up. She didn't want to pick at open wounds, and it wasn't until recently that she was able to make small talk again. "Wanna talk about it?"

"Yeah, of course. It's just -" Seulgi crinkled her nose. "God, it's so hot, isn't it?"

"Hottest summer yet, I think." Yongsun had purposely gone with lighter clothing in an attempt to beat the heat. She often considered cutting her hair shorter, but always remembered Byulyi teasing her about the short bob wig they'd put her in for the New York video and thought better of it.

"When we were kids, Byulyi-unnie used to take us out to the playground and play with us in the summer. She once stole money from our Omma to buy us ice creams - she got caught and got scolded so badly we weren't allowed out for a week. But unnie didn't give a shit," Seulgi chuckled. "She just laughed and made us climb the furniture like monkeys until Omma got pissed and let us out again." Yongsun smiled, seeing the image in her mind. "I miss that about her."

"Yeah, me too." Yongsun stared out at the river. "It's not the same without her."

"Jiyoon-sunbaenim not cutting it?" Seulgi had been the first person Yongsun had told, of course.

(Seulgi had left the message unread for a day before replying with a simple okay .)

"Nah, that's not it." Maybe it was because Jiyoon was a fan of them before joining, or maybe because she joined so late, or maybe because she was replacing Byulyi of all people - but she just wasn't clicking with the rest of them yet. The first month made sense, but now they were almost reaching their third and Yongsun couldn't honestly say she felt comfortable enough around the woman to consider them friends. And with their comeback coming up, it caused everyone a bit of worry.