"You Won't Be Alone Again"

.03.

"You Won't Be Alone Again"
,,
Word Count: 2,020
,,,
Chapter Name: Memories

+ just wanted to say that there will be mentions of blood and self harm

Nick hasn't gone outside in days. And there were a few reasons why. Of course there was. There is a reason for almost everything you can imagine. For Nick, those reasons are something he deals with each day. No surprise there now. There's always that one person who can ruing his day in seconds, without even trying. Little to no effort. Just one simple little word that completely destroys his confidence when he's walking outside, trying to enjoy the usual walk his friends always had throughout the week.

"You changed"
"You were born a girl"
"You were prettier and better when you were a girl"
"Why would you do that to yourself?"
"You were so happy back then, what happened?"
"You aren't a guy and never will be"

Things like these always ruined his day. But there were more things that people said. It was quite obvious. Many people who are trans have to deal with similar things. Family not supporting them. Friends. Neighbors. It's not only hard to tell your parents about something like this, it's also hard to deal with what other people would think about you after they find out. Even if you say you wouldn't care about it, and that you're prepared to face those things. Yeah, some people don't give a shit about what other people have to say about it. But there were many people who can fall apart, break so easily due to something someone, who didn't support them for who they are, said. And Nick was scared.

He was afraid.

Nick didn't want to be afraid. And not only that, he didn't want to be alone. Not anymore. He couldn't handle all those horrible memories flooding back into his brain. Hitting him like a tsunami. It hurt. It really did. He couldn't help but simply break down in tears and lock himself in his room all day and all night. Hide under the covers and clench his pillow tightly with his hands, staining the soft fabric with his tears. Cry until he couldn't anymore. Eyes red, face stained with dry tears, lips still quivering once he stopped. Look at himself in the mirror, hating himself even more. Bringing himself down. Every day, every hour..minute, and second, a little piece of what he found decent of himself slowly withered away. Became just another thing that Nick hated about himself.

Nick's friends kept trying to distract him. Take him places that he liked going to. Try and make him hang out with those people who had visited a few days ago. Wilbur and Nick did end up going somewhere together the day after the tour, just like Wil had promised. The two had a fun time with each other. Nick felt something that he hadn't felt in years. Loved.

It was as if Wilbur was that person Nick has been waiting for. He was...that person. But Nick didn't want to admit it. The two of them didn't even know each other that well to begin with. They've only seen each other for two days. Hell, not even two days! Basically one day and a half. Nick couldn't help it. Wilbur was hot. Tall. Had an accent. And of course, the ravenette had a small thing for accents. Nick couldn't help but already feel something for that tall brunette. He had to admit, Wilbur fit every single thing about Nick's type. And not only that, Clay was already getting dangerously close to finding out. Of course he was. The two have been friends for years.

Nick let out a sigh. He was laying on his bed. Tears still streaming down his face. Lips pressed into a line. Nose stuffy as he stared up at the ceiling. Hair a mess, small strands of black hair against the pillow underneath his head. Eyes glossy. His breathing was heavy and shaky. Nick slowly sat up, letting out a tired huff. He always got exhausted after crying for hours and hours.