𝒜𝓇𝑒 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝐿𝒾𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔?̵̭̞̪̊ (𝔊𝔯𝔲𝔪𝔟𝔬 𝔉𝔦𝔠)

✾ 2 ✾

Trigger warnings:
Self deprecating thoughts 💭
Thoughts of self harm 🌹
Self harm 🥀
Blood 🩸

Grians pov.
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I quickly flew off, leaving mumbo standing alone in the shopping district, clutching my new dagger in my left hand as I went towards my base.

I flew down landing in front of my home, opening the door and walking in, relieved at the warm air inside.
I shut the door behind me, and made my way up the stairs to my room.

I sat down on the edge of my bed, beginning to shake slightly. I grabbed a bottle of water from a chest nearby, quickly gulping it down, hoping the cold liquid would clear my mind at least just a little.

I forgot mumbo and I had met at last life. I forgot that he was the reason I'm here. He said that he was worried for me, seeing the effects the place had, so he brought me away.

This place is more peaceful, but I can't shake the feeling that I don't belong here. I just annoy people, even mumbo sounded annoyed earlier.

My father's word echoed in my mind. Simply reinforcing the thoughts I already had.
'' Can you make yourself of any use?!
First you go on about this bi shit, now you're being completely useless! Some son you are.''

Tears began to fill my eyes and the words replayed.
I rolled up my sleeve, up to above my forearm, and took the blade in my right hand, looking at the curve of the blade.
I slowly slid the blade across my arm, leaving a gap between the cuts and my wrist, knowing my sleeve would get lifted a little eventually.
I continue dragging the blade across my arm. Progressively cutting deeper, and deeper, until I felt emotionally numb, and light headed.

I put the blade down, wiping the blood onto my pant leg. I wiped the tears from my eyes, still trembling.

I looked around my small room, looking at the small doodles I hung on the walls. I remember being once proud of them. Though now I felt like ripping them off the walls and burning them.

I looked at one of them, it was build plans for a mansion. I really should get to work on that again. Maybe being more active will stop people worrying?

I sighed, walking into the bathroom and grabbing a cloth, wiping the blood off my arm with it. I ran my arm under the water, wincing as it caused each cut the burn. I turned the faucet off, and set the cloth on the counter, not feeling a need to deal with it at that moment.

I begin bandaging my arm when I hear a knock on the front door. I glance at the mirror, checking to see if it were obvious I had been crying.

It wasn't clear I was crying, but there were dark bags under my eyes, and the burn scar on my cheek had dirt on it. I lazily finished bandaging the cuts, then rolled my sleeve down, leaving the bathroom.

I opened the front door to see iskall standing there with a small smile.

"Hi Grian! I was wondering if you were working on anything? If not, I could use your help making a ghast farm, it's a bit hard by yourself" It was interesting to observe him. His hair was messy, though it didn't seem to bother him.

I didn't realize I hadn't heard him, until he tapped my shoulder, causing me to flinch.

"Uh- uhm, you needed help with what-?" I stuttered, I hate it when I do that.

" Uh, I asked if you could help me with a ghast farm? But given the fact you just zoned out and have giant bags under your eyes I think you should rest Instead." He spoke slower, sounding more concerned.

Memories of the ghast farm incident replayed in my mind. It suddenly felt hard to breath, as if the arrow were still in my chest. My vision blurred, I couldn't tell if it was from tears or sheer panic.

Iskall put his hands on my shoulders, slightly shaking me.
"Grian-? Hey are you alright? You're starting to hyperventilate." His voice was soft and full of concern, but I hadn't realized I was hyperventilating until he pointed it out.

I was already light headed because of the blood. This just made it worse.
He said a few more things, but I couldn't make out what the words were, his voice was muffled, as if I was underwater.

Everything went dark, and the pain from the cuts and the tightness in my chest disappeared. I felt calm. And after a while I felt a sudden warmth.
It felt like I was being hugged. How long has it been? And who was hugging me? I began to hear more muffled voices.

"He just randomly passed out. I- I don't know what happened. You were the first person I could think to get."
Who was speaking? Who were they talking to? I couldn't tell.

I let myself drown the noises out, falling back into peaceful silence.

That was until I saw it...

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Hehe, cliff hanger :3
I'd like to clear up something real quick, so Grian lived in the Last Life sever for around 2 years, it's where he met mumbo. After grian lost his yellow life he began experiencing what happens when you reach your last life. Wounds hurt so much more, impulsive decisions are more common. Along with voices that speak of violence, usually to do with the current situation. Kinda like Technoblades voices.

Basically after that mumbo got worried and decided to bring him to hermit craft, hoping it would help.

Also, I changed how grian lost his first life, or well, scars life. It'll be explained how he lost that one later.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed!

Once again sorry for spelling errors.

Please remember the eat, drink water, and take any medication you have to take!
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