Still

08.

Chapter Eight

Sleeping in unfamiliar settings never bode well with Maia. There was nothing like sleeping in the comfort of her own bed, and it was something she learned when she moved to Paris. It had taken her nearly three months to adjust to sleeping there. The overnight forecast had shown that there would be a bad thunderstorm. Normally, this would provide her with peace, but the house was simply too big for her enjoy it. She was never fond of large spaces, because that meant there were too many entrances for the killer to get in.

Hearing the loud thunder, Maia bit down on her bottom lip and decided that she couldn't fight it anymore. She had to swallow her pride if she wanted to get any sleep tonight. Carefully, she threw the covers from her body and looked around the pitch black room. With a scowl, she made a mental note to have him install night lights or something.

Without the official tour, she was going off memory and common sense at this point. If she had built this house, she knew exactly where she'd put the master bedroom. Walking slowly across the dark hallway and past the bathroom, Maia entered the master bedroom suit. As long as she could remember, Jourdan always slept in the pitch black and his room would always have some type of white noise going.

She tiptoed further into the room until she was at his bed. He was sprawled out in the middle of the bed, making it a bit difficult for her to be secretive about what she was doing. Deciding that her sleep was more important, Mai gently laid down in the bed next to him. She could tell the moment that he woke up, because his breathing changed.

Jourdan had an idea it would happen, because Maia was definitely not sleeping in his big ass house alone. "You good, ma?" He mumbled, not wanting to open his eyes. Jour scooted over further to the other side of the bed to allow her to be more comfortable.

Mai turned on her back and looked up to the ceiling. There was a lot on her mind. Her thoughts replayed everything her therapist had previously told her. Before coming here, she made a special visit to her to see if this was truly something that she needed. The advice that she was given that this would be proper closure for the past. There was a wound that was left open and right now, it needed first aid. This was that first aid.

"How is everything so easy for you?" Maia asked him, her voice hoarse.

Releasing a deep breath, Jourdan opened his eyes slowly. Of course, she would wait until the middle of the night to decide to talk to him. "What makes you think this is easy?"

"The way you move. You apologized, did some sweet talking, paid a bill, sent some funny shit to my phone, and here I am..."

"It's not as easy as you think it is. I go out and perform shit I wrote in my darkest times. People singing to shit that they don't even know about. They think it's about some regular ass breakup not knowing I really lost...a lot. I sit in interviews lying about my inspiration, because I can't make any connections to you. Shit ain't easy."

"Everything is not about me," she rebutted. "I feel like you don't have the same thoughts and feelings that I have."

He clenched his jaw, staring at the side of her face. She wouldn't look at him. While it was dark, it was hard to miss seeing his glaring eyes. Jourdan sat up and climbed over to straddle her. It was something he used to do when they were younger, because she always was difficult to get through to. "I was a young nigga faced with the biggest decision of my life. I had two dreams in my hand and for some stupid reason, I thought I could have the best of both worlds. I was dumb, Maia. I chose a career over you and our child, I'm sorry as shit for that."

She didn't say a word. Her scowl was apparent and he could see it clear as day. "The thing is, Maia, there is absolutely nothing that I can say to you in any moment to make you forgive me about what I'd done. I went and made these songs that you have to randomly hear throughout your day. We have mutual friends who talk highly about me around you, while you know I ain't shit. My mother loves the absolute fuck out of you, so much, that she just drops her dog son on you randomly. You and I hid this shit so good that we have to suffer in silence. My sorry isn't going to make that shit not hurt you. I abandoned the family that we were planning and that shit will forever haunt you and probably caused all sorts of trauma."