What goes on in my head? (FILLER/DEO'S POV)

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*TW: Murder, Death, Alcohol, Mentioned abuse ig?

-----A/N-----

This chapter is just a Filler/Deo's POV during the 2 chapters of Tommy's POV, I would recommend still reading it though since the next chapter will take a while. And yes this chapter is decently long, WOOHOO!!!

Enjoy!

-----DEO POV-----

My mother and father always have arguments. But this time I was sure it was serious because my father left drunk..again. He does drinks a lot but usually doesn't storm out, with a knife. My father is very.. violent. He's always really scary, especially when he's drunk. But I've never had any good memories with him, he's hurt me before when I take my mother's side even thought she really didn't do anything wrong at all, but he's never actually stabbed me, only a few slaps, punches, kicks. When I walked out of my room, where I always hid when my father was not himself, tears were in my eyes because of how afraid of I was of father, my mom was on the floor crying, with a bleeding nose. It looks like she can't stand. I've always felt bad for her, but I don't understand why she won't leave him. But she only replies with, "I'm too far in love with that asshole..I'm sorry my baby." I wonder what it feels like to love someone, even if they hurt you. I just let my mom rest on the floor and comfort her, since I'm not sure what to do in this type of situation. 

After she's done sobbing, she said that we'll go on a walk to have a peaceful time, maybe even search for father. After we both got ready to go, we left and left the door open, in case father went back since we knew he didn't grab his keys. Apparently this neighbourhood is safe so no one would rob us, even if they wanted to. 

Me and her kept walking until I saw a dirty blonde haired boy with blue shining eyes lay down in a flower field, all type of flowers in his hair. I just stared at him for a few seconds, I have no idea why but I mumbled "Pretty.." really quietly since I didn't want my mom to hear. He suddenly spoke to himself, "Oh yeah! A friend!". I was a bit confused since he was talking to himself. He slowly got up since he probably noticed me staring, and stared back at me right in my eye. I could tell he was scanning my appearance, so I decided to do the same, still staring at him, but he probably can't tell that I'm looking him right in his eye too because I'm wearing sunglasses. The dirty blonde boy that still had a few flowers in his hair, had deep blue eyes that reminded me of the ocean, wore a long sleeves black shirt turtleneck underneath a T-Shirt that was white and had red shoulder sleeves. Dark blue ripped jeans and black converse.

I told my mother I'd be right back and walked towards the ocean blue-eyed boy, still not changing his deep stare at me. He looked cool and since he wanted friends, while I did have a few, peaked my interest, so why not become his friend? I stopped to say "Hey, looking for friends?" while grinning, since I could tell he was startled by my question. He then lowered his gaze, onto the floor. I knew mother would get a bit suspicious if I stayed too long so I wanted him to answer sooner, so I said "So what about it?". He then whispered something, but quietly so i couldn't hear, but I decided not to ask what he said, to not seem like a curious dude 24/7. He then slowly nodded, so I smiled, ear to ear, walking towards him to get closer to him(not in a weird way), glad to have made a new friend. He seemed a bit embarrassed, I don't know why though. 

My mom suddenly called for me so I waved bye and yelled "I'm Timedeo by the way! Call me Deo though!" in a proud and loud voice. He then yelled back "I'm Tommy! Meet me here again tomorrow at 6!" he then smiled bravely and in a proud tone. While I was running towards mother, I quickly nodded, but for some reason I was a bit embarrassed since Tommy was smiling a really adorable smile, of course I didn't let Tommy see my lightly pink blush since I would just become a tomato. 

He then also started walking away, probably going home. I noticed he was alone, which isn't safe. I hope he doesn't run into my dad, I swear if he does I'll be the one to kill that motherf*cker. I don't know why I already was protective over a boy I just met a few minutes ago, whatever. When I got to my mom she asked "Who was that blonde boy? Your friend?". I nodded with a big smile on my face. She then smiled, being happy that I'm not lonely. She then said "your dad is back home, I saw him run back, but..he was covered in blood.." but she quietly whispered the last part, in a sad, weepy tone. I could tell tears were already building in her eyes, fighting it because she doesn't want to start sobbing, she won't be able to stop. I then say "Maybe he isn't injured and just..uh..murdered someone..". I didn't want to say the last part but, I can't stand seeing mother cry again, not right now at least. She then nodded silently, still fighting her tears with all her might. 

When we got home, father was covered in blood, holding the bloodiest knife I've ever seen him bring home. He didn't look injured at all, just blood splattered all over his clothing. Mother then quickly rushed towards him, sobbing . He then pushed her onto the floor, and spat on her. "Sl*t" he quietly, yet also aggressively said. But mother was persistent, crying and sobbing, hugging father's legs. It was a pitiful and painful sight to see, so I walked into my room and ran to my bed. I've already cried too much that I've ran out of tears to let out, so now I just squeeze my pillow and stare at the ceiling, just thinking about "what ifs" and sh*t. I just don't understand how someone like my mother be so desperate for someone like my father? Why would they marry if mother knew father was this violent? I also prayed for the person that just got murdered by my father to live in peace somewhere in heaven, and thought about other stuff, like the new friend I made. I wondered what he was doing right now, and if Tommy was thinking about him too. For some reason, he already misses the blonde boy even though they did just meet today, not knowing anything about eachother. He ignored all the yells, and loud sobs coming from outside his room, all he wanted to do right now is see Tommy. 

-----A/N-----

OMG I ACTUALLY GOT A LONG CHAPTER OUTTT- Anyways kinda a rollercoaster uh yeah- Next chapter will deffo take a while, Tommy's POV this time though, it'll take around 1-5 days because I'm starting in-person learning in 2 days. I'm glad I was able to make a chapter this long. Next chapter will be a bit shorter though cuz I might take a bit of a break (literally just one day) from writing since this one was a bit tiring. 

Have a great day/morning/night/evening/afternoon or whatever from wherever you are! Always remember you're special and there are people who love you.

(1292 Words)

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