𝗛𝗶𝘀 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗗𝗶𝗮𝗿𝘆

His Personal Diary: 8

Duvet- Bôa

A crying Ephesia wailed in her mother's lap. Her mother was trying her best to console the crying girl, but she was of no avail.
"Mommy what if I'm pregnant?"
She whined as she finally wiped the tears from her face, her head was now rested on her mother's shoulder.

Clarice stayed quiet, her baby might be pregnant. And the father would miss out on the first parts of that child's life. She knew what it was like to be a single mother, and didn't want her child to go through that.

"You'll be fine. Go take the test and we'll act upon that dear."
Clarice stroked her daughter's wild hair before placing a kiss on her head and taping her butt as she shuffled to the bathroom.

Ephesia sulked to the bathroom, in fear of what come about her simply telling peeing on a stick. She said as many prayers as she could during the process. Handling her business she left the test on the counter and set a timer.

Leaving the bathroom she let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding. Her nerves were everywhere, the gears in her head wouldn't stop turning. Being a mother— it was something she had truly never thought of. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad, rocky with her child's father— but Ephesia knew how to make things work. She always made a dollar from fifteen cents.

She stood outside of the bathroom, her foot taping nervously. The 5 minutes felt like two centuries before the timer went off. There was now no going back. It was now or never.

Stepping back into the bathroom, Ephesia felt the air get knocked out of her lungs as she stared at the test. It seemed to stare straight back at her. Closing her eyes again and again, she deadpanned the test in her hands.

Pregnant, but she felt relieved. The need to know was eating her alive. And now that she knew, she left better. She now had an answer to why she could no longer fit into her clothes and could not get any sleep. Her insecurities of just gaining of weight from her poor eating habits were now in the back of her mind. She was carrying a baby.

"Mommy."
She shrieked, she found a new excitement in the thought of being a mother.

"Scream again. Do you want me to have a heart attack Faith?"
Ephesia cringed at the use of her middle name as her mom appeared in the door way of the bathroom.

"Mom, you're going to a grandma."
Ephesia smiled, but her mother's face was expressionless. It made her uneasy.

"Are you okay?"
She inquired. Her mom shook her head.

"I'm fine, I just don't know it you will be. Messiah is locked up and you're pregnant with his child E. Don't you know your options? I'm not telling you what to do, baby. I promise. I just don't want you end up like me."
There were now tears in her mother's eyes. Ephesia knew what her mom went through, struggling with drugs and addictions as a single mother and how she ended up with her grand daughter.

"I know mommy. You have nothing to worry about. I'll be fine, and of course I know my options."
She gave her mother a reassuring smile. But now Ephesia was unsure her damn self. How would she raise a child? The circumstances were messy but she would find the answer as time progressed— she always did.

•••••••

"How are you baby?"
Messiah asked over the phone. Hearing Ephesia's voice was like heaven on earth now that he was locked up, away from her. 5 years was a damn long time, and he had barely made a dent in his sentence.

"I'm great, how are you? How's it in there? Are you still adjusting?"
She inquired. Sometimes she hated to admit, but she missed him so much each and every single day. The thought of raising their child alone had been heavy on her mind since the day she found out she was pregnant.

"Now that I'm hearing your voice baby, I'm doing great. Oh I can't wait to see you. You know next week you can finally see me I person, E."
Ephesia's eyes widened at the news. It took her aback, on one hand she couldn't wait to tell him she was expecting. But on the other she was scared to tell him that he would be missing out on detrimental years of their child's life. She didn't think he would take it well.

"I'm so excited, I'll schedule it as soon as we hang up."
Messiah sensed the uneasy tone in her voice.

"Are you okay? Scared to see me or something? It'll be fine E."
He heard her sniffle on the other end of the phone. He now knew there was something definitely wrong with her.

"It's not that Messi. I'm so scared. "

"One minute remaining."
The automated voice on the line spoke.

"Scared of what?"
He was now confused.

"It's nothing Messi. I'll see you sometime next week. Love you so."
She rushed to hang up the phone, leaving him confused and scared too. He slammed the phone on the hook.

"Inmate! Watch it."
A guard warned, but Messiah just flipped him the bird and walked back to his bunk. He didn't know what was up with Ephesia, but it worried him deeply.

•••••••

The day of her visit came sooner than she wanted it to. She dreading it. But she wanted to see his face so bad. She missed him so bad. Their relationship was rocky but that's what it their's.

Ephesia made sure to dress comfortable for the  hour and half ride to the prison to see Messiah.  And as the miles between them grew fewer and fewer the gears in Ephesia's head began to turn once  again and she couldn't stop thinking. That mind of her would not stop working until she would have a nervous breakdown or anxiety attack.

She tried to drown out her own mind by turning her music up, but it didn't work. She took deep breaths to calm her nerves.

Feeling more on edge, she finally made it to the check point just before entering the gates of the prison visitor parking. There she handed her I.D. over and a paper verifying her visitation date to be today.

She was permitted to pass through to visitor parking. She exited her car and approached the respected door. It was taking everything in her to turn back, but what would the point of that be?

Entering the building she was patted down and checked for weapons and contraband, before being allowed into the waiting room full of others inmates being visited my their family and friends. Ephesia was escorted to the empty table in the back of the room and was told to wait patiently for the arrival of Luca Messiah.

She could feel her heart about the beat out of her chest as the anticipation killed her inside.

She closed her eyes tightly as she heard the sound of the approaching shackles and heavy foot steps. She soon felt a presence in front of her, there was no turning back now.

Messiah's first instinct was to capture her lips in a kiss, but he knew of the no intimate touching rule. He wanted to touch her so badly, and just as he reached out to take her hand— she flinched.

He felt a tug at his heart. There something off about her. He didn't like it.
"Baby what's wrong?"
He gave her hand a squeeze and she finally opened her eyes.

She stared at him for a while before spilling her guts.
"Messiah. I'm pregnant."

It felt the world began to move in slow motion. The news was so unexpected, he didn't know what to think. The only thing he could muster up was:

"Oh shit."
He watched Ephesia's eyes lose every sparkle.

They sat there in silence. But soon Messiah felt a pang of guilt in his chest. He had gotten her pregnant and was now going to be absent for 5 years and miss everything.

"Ephesia, I'm so sorry."
He looked into her eyes once again.

"Me too."

S.C 💕 ( not edited)