Part Two

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by orphichild

by orphichild

1. Sakura and Karin are the jealous psycho girlfriends/wives.

2. Sasuke is the emo kid at school and he secretly loves Naruto and doesn't know that Naruto loves him back.

3. Naruto is sometimes addressed as 'the blond'.

Naruto looked up at the cloudless sky. He hummed to himself quietly. The blond folded his arms behind his head. The blond took a deep breath. The blond's thoughts wondered to Sasuke. The blond-

ONE MORE TIME AND I'LL MAKE ENDLESS BLOND JOKES TO SHUT YOU UP.

4. The sentences are so choppy and does nothing but explains their actions.

Sasuke sat down. Naruto sat down next to Sasuke. Sasuke looked at Naruto. Naruto looked at Sasuke. Sasuke kept on looking at Naruto. Naruto opened his mouth to speak. Naruto says, "Why the fuck are you staring at me hoe."

I get it, no one gives a damn, just get to the smut!!!!11!!1!!!

5. There's way too much staring.

6. Sasuke's gaze are always 'dark' and 'mysterious'.

7. Naruto's eyes are never referred to as 'eyes' or 'pupils' it has to be 'cerulean orbs'.

8. Naruto has 'whiskered cheeks' but author never explains what they are and passes them off as scars of some sort.

Why do no one notice but this is a great lead to another emotional background story for your main protagonist?

9. WHY IS SASUKE ALWAYS THE EMO.

10. 50 Shades of Uchiha Sasuke

Kill me please.