Forever Yours: Broken Promises

Chapter 12

Tahleea's POV

Several weeks have passed and I feel like I'm hanging on by a single thread. I've lost weight because I don't have an appetite, I feel tired most of the time and my hair has started falling out. I know it's because I'm going through a little depression, but I push myself to keep going for my rugrats.

I only talk to Dre when it concerns our children. He's made so many attempts to talk to me, but the journal speaks volumes about his infidelity. I'm not sure what he wants me to say. For the sake of our children, instead of Dre leaving, he's sleeping in the bedroom on the first floor.

My crew has noticed a change in me, but I'm not ready to talk to anyone about my issues nor what's been happening. I just tell them that my iron is low again and I'm back under my doctor's care. It was believable. I've gone through this many times. I've advised Darah that I'll be working from home for a while. I can't continue walking around my staff in the emotional state that I'm going through.

Since I'm working from home, I've been picking up all three Hassans from school. Thankfully AJ is the only one that has practice and games. Having to run around for only one helps me to limit face to face interaction with my parents and crew. I know they are concerned. I see it in their eyes whenever I see them.

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Today was another day I didn't feel like getting out of bed. Last night, Dre came into the room demanding that I talk to him. I didn't want us arguing with the children at home, so I told him we'd talk after I dropped them off at school. I wasn't ready for this conversation, because I really didn't know where I'm going to go from here. My world has been turned upside down. Silently I cried all night.

I woke up with the urge to empty my stomach. Making it to the bathroom just in time, I fell on the floor and raised the toilet seat. I emptied what little food I could eat last night. My body started shaking. Feeling faint, I gripped the toilet. I felt little hands grab my hair from around my neck. It was AJ.

"Mama what's wrong?"

I couldn't say anything. Finally AJ called for Drew to go downstairs to get their daddy. Before Drew could run downstairs, Tahlese was at the sink running water on a towel to put around my neck. For her to only be four years old, she's very smart. She's seen me do this for them and their dad whenever they were sick. I tried to stand up but was too weak. Dre ran in the bathroom.

"Tee baby what's wrong?"

I just shook my head. I tried to get up again but failed. Seeing me like this, Tahlese started crying. I put my finger over my lips and shook my head. Then I pointed to myself and gave her the ok sign. Dre grabbed me up, took me into the bedroom and laid me on the bed. I started shaking again. The more I tried to control it the worse it got. Dre called his mom to stay with the children so he could take me to the E.R. He didn't want to send them to school upset.

It didn't take long before the E.R. doctor ordered lab work. They had placed me in an observation room while we waited on the results. Dre sat beside my bed, looking me over. I still hadn't said a word to him. He grabbed my hand in his.

"Tee we need to talk. We can't continue like this. I can't stand the silent treatment. The little Hassans keep asking why we aren't in the room together and why we aren't talking. Babe, AJ is old enough to sense something is off. I don't want our babies to be negatively affected by what's going on between us."

Before I could speak, the doctor walked into the room with the nurse right behind him. He had a rolling ultrasound machine with him.

"I believe congratulations are in order. You guys are expecting a little one."

Dre jumped up all excited.

"Babe we are adding another Hassan to the bunch!"

He kissed my lips and hugged me. I was of no emotion. Yes babies are a blessing from God, but how can I possibly be excited about this blessing during this time in my life.

The nurse came to the bed telling me he was going to do an ultrasound and if I knew about how far along I could be. The last time Dre and I had sex was my birthday weekend, so that would put me at about seven to eight weeks. I guess I'd been so out of touch with myself that I hadn't realized I hadn't had a period.

The nurse did a vaginal ultrasound. Soon the image of our little one appeared. Dre was all smiles, but I just looked at the screen trying to figure out why this was happening to me now. The nurse finished the measurements and gave me a print out of the ultrasound. He said according to the measurements, I was accurate with how far along I am. When everything was confirmed, the nurse told me it was ok to get dressed and to wait for my prescription for nausea.

Once I was dressed and had my prescription, Dre and I made our way to the car. He was holding my hand as if the news of me being pregnant was the savior of our marriage. For me, it only added to my stress. If I was trying to hold on to my marriage until my children were older, this put me back another eighteen years. I don't think I'll be able to endure.

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Since the Hassans were at my parent's house, Dre and I finally talked about his infidelity. He couldn't deny it. Giving in to the truth, he told me everything. Well most likely the part that he wanted to disclose. I'm sure I'll never know the whole truth and at the moment I don't care because I know enough. I had already cried so much that I didn't have any more tears left in me. But I was angry, so angry.

Dre wanted us to go to a marriage counselor, but I question why I would need to go to counseling. He's the one that cheated and I'm done with us.

"Dre we don't need marriage counseling. You need it. I've given up on us. I gave you everything and you took it for granted. For twelve years I've held you down while you continue to fuck around with Macy. Since she's the one you want, take your ass over there to her. I can take care of myself and my children."

"Tee I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving my family. Yes I fucked up. I'm sorry baby."

"No Dre, you're not sorry. You're only sorry that you were caught and every encounter was documented. How in the hell could you be sorry as many times as this has happened. Get the fuck away from me with that bullshit! How would you feel if I'd been messing around with Jaxon?"

His stance stiffened. He had no words to say.

"Yeah, sit there and marinate on that. How the FUCK would you feel?"

I hated to bring Jaxon into this conversation but I needed Dre to think about the hurt, the pain, the disappointment and the anger that I'm feeling right now. I grabbed my overnight bag, my purse and keys and left.