Love and Ambition

5 - Let's Make A Film

Jason enters my mind. 

Even as I sit here with my film group, debating the concept of our short film.

I wondered why I hadn't seen him around the campus the past few months. Even with the parties in August and university mixed activities, I was bound to have bumped into him before. Yet something about meeting him in the bathroom speaks about his personality—to be left alone in the corner, minding his own business. 

"Whatever idea we decide, I'll be the main character," Rebecca leans forward in the desk, looking me in the eyes. Her blonde hair falls from behind her shoulders, framing her face. "Right?"

From the corner of my eye, I feel the heat coming off of Jenn's stare, pleading at me. Either I let the pretty face be the star on screen or my best friend who knows nothing about acting. On one hand, Becca has had experience from theater; on the other, Jenn is my best friend who I promised the leading lady role.

I sigh.

As I'm about to make a decision, Mr. Monray shouts for our attention. Everyone turns in their seats to look at the front of the classroom. 

"You are two film groups. You are not in competition with each other, okay?" He scowls at both directors: me and Terence. We look at each other with a small smile.

"It's the Indie Film Festival," he continues, "there's plenty of awards for everyone."

The list appears from the projector: best actor, best actress, best film, best script, etc.

My eyes focus on the Best Film Award, imagining myself walking up the stage with a big smile on my face as a clip of my film plays in the background; the applause of the crowd; the trophy in my hands, its metal shining from the spotlight that shines on me.

"And remember that there's other indie film groups out there, too," Mr. Monray's green eyes concentrates on me as he notices my daydreaming. "So don't get too hyped."

"Such a buzzkill," Henry mutters under his breath; he sinks lower in his seat. I pat his forearm, knowing that his genius shots and angles will win him an award as our Director of Photography. He smiles slyly at me.

"So!" Mr. Monray slams his laptop shut, grabbing his cup of coffee and walking closer to the groups. "What are your ideas?"

Rebecca shoots up, raising her hand with a smile—beaming. "We have one!"

I shoot her a look, but she looks back at me as if to say, 'don't worry, I got this'.

My body burns as she tells her idea—an idea we did not agree on. Her dumb, cliché idea. 

Mr. Monray stands there, nodding and taking sips of his coffee as Becca continues to ramble on; diverting from the idea to explain the "complications" in the story. My roommate turns to look at me, a small giggle in her face. 

Becca finishes, looking over at us with a proud smile. 

"Cool," Mr. Monray breathes deeply, looking at me, "any more ideas?"

I take this as an invitation to explain my idea. "I was thinking of a short 5-minute film," I start, leaning onto the desk. "Takes place in one location: a bar. There's two characters: male and female. Both supposed to be on a date, but were stood up. Essentially, they were catfishing each other, but they don't know until the end."

My glance moves to Rebecca who rolls her eyes and mouths 'boring'.

Mr. Monray chuckles. "That could be interesting," he walks closer to me, giving me a thumbs up, "explore it further," then walking to the group on the other table.

* * *

"It's so dumb!" I exclaim, slamming the door behind me. Jane sits on the edge of her bed, watching me pace around. If she looked closer, smoke flared out of my nose.

"I liked your idea better, Brooke, but it was too simple," Jane said, now sinking in her sheets. "Becca's idea would flesh out for the 2 weeks we have for production."

"But if we finished production a week earlier, we have 3 weeks of post to make it all pretty," I wave my arms on 'pretty' to exaggerate my point. "We could get the 'best'..." I trail off, thinking of what award we could get. "'Best Visual Effects' or some shit!"

"I know," Jane raises up, pulling her knees to her chest, "you already explained that."

"Ugh!" I plop on my bed, sinking my head in my sheets. A lump forms in my throat. I don't want to cry about this. I shouldn't be this upset. Everyone has their ideas—some better than others. Our group just decided on a film that's trying to reach "deep meaning" with the execution of shallow.

I cringe at the thought of the first film I made this school year. Horror genre. There was so much potential in the story, but several ideas were thrown at me to put in that it ended up being a huge, failure of a mess. Meanwhile, the other groups shined during our university's film showing.

This was supposed to be my redemption film.

My phone buzzes in my back pocket and I groan even more, expecting it to be Sean. I slide my phone out to see a call from Jenn. A smile forms on my lips and I sigh in relief.

"Hey!" I pick up.

"Your boyfriend's here," she answers in a flat tone.

"You're kidding," I turn around, my heart pounding as my blood boils.

Not again.

"Nope, but he looks mad," I hear someone call Jenn's name in the background. "Gotta go, going on a date." 

The call ends.

What the fuck could he want now?