Love and Ambition

12 - Split in Two

As curious as I was, I didn't want to open it. I didn't want to give Sean the satisfaction that I saw the message—taunting a reaction from me. Whatever he's trying to do, I'm not having it.

Even after a day, my phone continues to buzz in my pocket. I don't dare open the messages, but I only look at the preview.

Sean: don't ignore me!

Sean: I know where you are

Sean: You can't get rid of me!

Once reaching the film classroom, I decide to turn off my phone. My crew sits around a table sorting through piles of paper in our corner of the classroom, Becca sitting at the head. She's writing on her laptop, which I manage to take a glance of. It's the time schedule for the film. Good to know she made herself the production manager. 

"Keeping busy," I say in a sarcastic tone. I take a seat and place it beside hers to get a view of her screen.

"So were you this weekend," she stops clicking and typing on her computer, turning around to face me. A smug smile plastered on her face.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I lean back, crossing my arms. 

"It's not really my business, or whatever," she's lowered her voice; leaning in and taking a glance at the room before continuing, "but cheating on your boyfriend and then throwing a drink in denial makes you kind of a bitch."

My heart races. My jaw clenching as I try to control the punch I want to throw. 

"You don't have all the facts," I say between gritted teeth. 

She cocks her head to the side, confused. "Sean's already told me everything."

I want to scream at her. Run out, find Sean myself, and bash his head in with a barbed-wire-wound bat.

But all I do is sit here, in silence, looking at her with a blank expression. The room growing bigger as I continue to walk in my own thoughts; growing darker with each passing second. 

"Listen, Brooke," Becca's touch on my hand snaps me back, "I don't feel comfortable working with you, so I talked to Mr. Monray for you to switch groups."

Un-fucking-believable.

It's not her fault to believe every single word Sean's fed her, but she has no right to kick me out just because she's "uncomfortable". 

A dumb blonde with no spine.

I take a breath, controlling the fire inside me. "I don't care what you think, Becca," I grip her hand and lean as close to her as possible; staring into her eyes to make sure she's listening to every single syllable I'm about to muster, "but the air between your head is easily filled with lies and manipulation." 

Raising from my seat, I let go of her hand. "Good luck with your dumb film."

As I walk to the other end of the table, I stare at Becca's frozen expression—unsure if it's confusion or disbelief. 

I cut Jane and Jenn's conversation short. "How do you ladies like to be part of my crew?"

Much as I tried to convince Jane to be part of our group, Becca needs her for a character since Jenn left. 

After spending the whole day planning for our film, I take it as a blessing to be rid of that God awful Twilight joke. With me acting as second main and directing, we almost have a full crew—all that's missing is the camera man. The Director of Photography. 

No one else was available in our class, so I had a crazy idea. 

As I knock on Jason's door, I hear shuffling inside as it opens, revealing Jason in a man bun.

"Hey," he greets with a crooked smile. He invites me in and I quickly notice an open notebook on his desk and his laptop on a Wikipedia page. 

Bipolar Disorder, it reads.

I look away thinking it must be research.

"I have a proposal for you," I smile at him, sitting at the edge of his bed, "you can say no, but would you like to be part of my film crew? As the director of photography?"

Though I knew that he's had no experience around cameras, I have the belief that the story of a film serves better purpose than a storyless scene with a pretty shot.

He freezes and I stare into his eyes for an answer. Before replying, he lets out an awkward chuckle, "Aren't you filming next week?"

"Yeah, it's a whole story," I roll my eyes.

"Um, well," he takes a breath, looking around the room, "I just hope you're as good a director I think you are."

I laugh. More so at the fact that he has that much faith in me, but also at the sudden wave of stress that's hitting me.

A dangerous silence falls between us. Our eyes meeting to a slow pull. Jason leans in to kiss me, but I pull away. 

"You can't get rid of me!"

I wanted to kiss him. Badly. But Sean's voice entered my head the moment Jason's face was inches away from mine.

"I'm sorry, Jason," I have my hand on his chest.

I expect a meltdown or to be called names, but all I'm met with is a soft smile as he holds my hand. "It's okay," he whispered, kissing the top of my head. "When you're ready."

* * *

The echoes of today's conversations play on repeat as I lay in bed. Tossing and turning in the darkness as I think of Sean. My heartbeat stops at the footsteps that walk past my dorm's door, believing it's his—rattling the doorknob to get in.

"I know where you are."

Even though Sean and I have broken up, I am still stuck in the palm of his hand.

My heart aches the more I think of him. My phone, sitting on my bedside table, calls out to me to check that photo. I can't give him the satisfaction. I need him to know that I won. Not him.

But curiosity gets the better of me. 

I snatch my phone and open our chat, immediately revealing the photo. My eyes glued to the screen as I see a picture of Sean laying shirtless beside a sleeping Becca.

I scroll down to the latest message from today:

Sean: I will destroy your life the same way you've destroyed mine. I wanted to marry and have kids with you! If I can't have that with you, no one else can. 

Sean: Not even Jason.