A New Chance - Jake Kiszka

Chapter 6

KJ's eyes narrowed and she grinned. 

"What're you a mind reader or something?" she said softly. 

Jake let out "tss" and shook his head. "No, but I think about that night a lot yknow..."

KJ stiffened, her eyes darting around the room, trying to avoid contact with Jakes. 

"Well, it was a good night so..."

"Yeah, for the most part. Up until..."

"Jake, I don't want to go there again. It was a long time ago, and things have only gotten busier for you. Which is great, Im happy for you really but -"

"It wasn't that long ago KJ, stop acting like 6 years is such a lifetime." His voice was stern, but not angry. KJ sensed a hint of hurt in his voice, the same type of hurt she heard that night when she turned down Jake's offer to do their very first "test tour" with them.

"Jakey, please can we just talk about this later?"

"No, I think we need to talk about this now, because I can't even talk to my Kyrie without this stupid tension popping up because of something that happened when we were 20."

"W-what did y-you j-just call m-me you-"

"I called you my friend, Kyrie"

"No, you said 'my kyrie', I haven't been your Kyrie in 6 years, Jake."

"No need to remind me, cause trust me I haven't forgotten for a single day."

"Is that why you're here? Did Josh tell you I worked here now?"

"No, I didn't know you were gonna be here. But it's nice to know my brother gets to know what's been going on with you and I don't!"

"Jakey. I'm sorry."

Jakes eyes filled with tears just waiting to flow over. He wiped his hand down over his mouth and tilted his head back. 

"I didn't know you were here Kyrie, but when I realized it was you I... everything just came back up and it's like you didn't even feel anything for me anymore, I was just Josh's brother that you used to hang out with, and you dont even wanna talk about any of it. I asked you to come with us, and you didn't want to go..."

"I did Jake, I really did but I couldn't and you know that. It was either college or on the road with you and the band, I just couldn't then."

"Fine, you couldn't go on the road but did you have to give me up too?"

Kyrie shook her head, his lips trembling, hot tears burning her round cheeks. 

"At the time I thought I did. I didn't want to hold you guys back, I didn't want you preoccupied, worried about me when you were trying to do what you've always wanted to do."

"Its what you've always wanted too, I was gonna teach you, you already have an amazing voice and you helped us write our entire first full record"

"I know, and I'm sorry, Jake, I really am. I wish it didn't happen like that but-"

"No, but nothing. I don't wanna hear another excuse from you Kyrie. You have no more to give. You went to college, the band made it, neither of us are with anyone, and here we are. Going around in a circle, just like we did that night. Yknow what, KJ, I love you, and I hope to God you still love me too but I can't talk in circles and I can't take anymore 'buts', Ill be around, come see me when you stop running from me, yourself and what you actually want."

Jake turned and walked out of Kyrie's office, wiping tears from the corner of his eyes. The door slammed shut and Kyrie jumped. She sighed, legs trembling she made her way back to the desk and reached into the side drawer. She pulled out a polaroid picture of her and Jake, sitting in their garage. Sat on wooden boxes, guitars in hand, and a stack of blank sheet music lay on the concrete floor in front of them. Kyrie stared at the picture, both her and Jake had bright eyes and were smiling at each other. 

She inhaled, a long, deep breath. 

"I want you, Jakey. It's always just been you."