Villa Martinez Series #4: So It's You

Chapter Six

Chapter Six

Crazy

I didn't know what to exactly feel after what happened to us. Ryder was gentle but I never heard the words like love from him in between our making love... Or maybe it's just still to early to say the words... Bakit nga ba ako nagmamadali?

Tama naman ang Mama niya na halos kakakilala pa lang talaga namin ni Ryder sa isla... I loved Villa Martinez more than just the island's natural beauty. I loved it more because I met Ryder there... But how I wish we've met even earlier than that? I wish I was the one... or the only one he ever met...

Umiling ako sa sarili ko at sa mga naiisip. Why am I so desperate with things I certainly have no control with. How I wanted to change some things so much...

Because... I'm starting to get insecure...

Na insecure na rin naman ako dati sa past relationships ko. But do I really have to be this insecure always? In fact I feel like I've been insecure my whole life... Hindi lang sa relationship ko sa exes ko but also sa pamilya ko... Sa maraming bagay.

Nakakapagod din pala...

I think we just want assurance... security... We just wanted to feel safe...

"Alecx,"

Bumaling ako kay Ryder nang tawagin niya ang pangalan ko. We cuddled for a bit but now he's already out of my bed at tapos na ring makapagbihis ng pants niya and is still topless. Hindi ko mapigilang punahin pa rin ang pagiging hot niya despite my bitter thoughts.

"Hmm?" Nanatili naman ako sa kama ko at nababalot pa sa puting comforter.

"What do you want for dinner? I'll order our food. Or do you want me to cook for us? Do you have stocks?" ani Ryder.

Hindi ko halos namalayan na gabi na rin pala. Ginabi na siya sa condo ko. He lives alone in his penthouse... Biglang pumasok sa utak ko ang panibagong mga katanungan. Gaya ng kung doon din ba sa penthouse niya nakatira noon ang ex niya?

Then I think it's a good thing na dito namin ginawa sa condo ko, 'di ba? Bago itong condo ko at si Ryder pa lang ang nadadala ko rito.

"Hey,"

Naramdaman ko na siyang umupo sa edge ng kama ko para muli akong malapitan. "What's... wrong?" kumunot ang noo niya sa inaasta kong pagiging tahimik. I know because everytime I'm this silent it would be unusual to him dahil nakilala niya akong madaldal naman talaga. Lalo na sa kaniya.

Pinilit ko ang sarili kong bigyan siya ng malaking ngiti. 'Tapos ay bumangon na rin ako at hinalikan siya sa labi. "I think I'd like you to cook for me, hmm... But we should go grocery shopping first?" I told him.

Maaga pa naman kaya kaya pa naman siguro naming lumabas muna at mag grocery sandali sa malapit na supermarket. I don't cook so wala talaga akong stock dito sa bahay aside sa ilang kailangan ko lang gaya ng coffee or the likes.

Tumango si Ryder at tuluyan na nga akong umalis sa kama. Nagbibis kami pareho at bumaba na sa basement parking. We then arrived at a nearest supermarket. I don't remember doing this with my boyfriend before. Ngayon pa lang kasama si Ryder. And it actually excited me a bit kahit simpleng bagay lang naman ito.

Kumuha na si Ryder ng isang big cart. Mukhang alam niya ang gagawin...

"Have you done this before?" I can't help it but ask him. I was curious... I wanted to know...

Bumaling siya sa akin mula sa pagsisimulang pagtutulak ng grocery cart namin. "Uh, yeah..." he answered.

I nodded and looked away. My head filled with bitter thoughts...