Villa Martinez Series #4: So It's You

Chapter Twenty-one

Chapter Twenty-one

Peace

"Hindi talaga ako pabor sa fixed marriage, Alecxandra. Given the history, given how I and your Mom just ended up this way because we were just a product of a pragmatic marriage we both didn't want from the very beginning." dad sighed. "So I told myself that I don't anymore want it for you and your brother... No matter how it was tempting sometimes to just pair you with a good businessman too that I know... But I don't want to force you into marrying someone you don't really want..."

Nagkatinginan kami ni daddy. And then he continued. Nanatili naman akong tahimik at nakikinig lang muna sa kaniya. "But when you introduced Ryder to me... Despite the idea that you're marrying each other because it can also be beneficial for the families' businesses... I know, hija, nakita ko iyon. Nakita kong gusto mo rin naman siya..."

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin kay daddy.

"You just lost your child couple of months ago... Alam kong may problema kayong mag-aawa, and I'd like to advice you to talk it out with each other instead... But I understand..." Binalik ko ang tingin ko kay daddy. He gave me a small but a reassuring smile on his face. "I would like to understand how you may be feeling right now after all the pressure I put on your shoulders since you were younger for our company... And after you just lost an important part in your life... your child." suminghap si daddy.

"Alecxandra, I wasn't a good father to you... I pressured you into our company without even asking first at least of how you feel about it. I was an insensitive father to you... and your brother. I hope you can forgive me one day... But right now I want you and Sandro to just live for yourselves."

Tears shined in my eyes and I knew daddy saw it why tears started to wet his eyes too as he was looking at me. Parang may namumuong bukol sa lalamunan ko. Naghalo ang emosyon sa akin na sa huli ay malungkot nalang akong napangiti kay daddy.

I traveled out of the country without talking to Ryder or his parents... I just wanted to get out. I just want to try to find my purpose again why I should still continue to live this life despite the every bad thing that happened to my life... My talk with my family gave me a little hope. And then I thought of things that I wanted to do back then but can't because of my busy schedules because of work. Now that I feel like I have all the time... I did it.

I stayed for months in an apartment when I first arrived in London. I was still trying to adjust to the place, to the people... Noong una ay hindi ko pa talaga alam ang gagawin. And so at first I just took all those times to rest for a while while I was there. Which was actually a bit weird of me doing literally a few to nothing. Just resting almost all day in bed and will only be out to get myself food. Until I slowly gone out of my apartment and farther exploring the places of London, England to the amazing places of Europe.

I also decided to buy a new and good quality camera when I noticed how beautiful the places I've visited and I should take at least more better pictures for each. Tiningnan ko ang bagong kuha ko na picture ng scenic view ng Prague sa aking camera. I smiled at what I captured. I didn't know that such simple thing like this can actually make me happy and make my heart warm...

I was watching the striking buildings of Prague when I thought of how it would probably look like when it's painted than how it was in photos. I wondered if it's just the same and how I'd feel like when I'll try to paint it... So I started learning painting in Italy. I was completely relaxed and even smiling as I try to paint the view in front of me. From my room's large windows I can perfectly see the natural view of Varenna. My hair was loosely tied by a silk hair scrunchie and I was wearing the same silky white satin dress that's comfortable and a best match to my as well white scrunchie, as I tried to copy in my painting the mountains and the blue waters outside my window.

I already liked dressing up before. But my usual clothes then were for work. Right now I can just wear a stylish clothing as I want to... I even tried to copy Emily's outfits after watching Emily in Paris. I giggled to myself remembering it. I have pictures wearing my OOTDs but I never really posted it on my social media yet... I also discovered hairstyles just using hair ties--a scrunchie or hair claws. When I used to only style my hair before with just styling tools. I learned just by watching YouTube or TikTok videos. Mas naging maalaga ako sa sarili ko. I learned to appreciate myself more like I haven't before...

I slept early that day. And then I woke up early too the next morning and ate my pretty served continental breakfast. I even took a picture of the beautifully arranged food in front of me. Hindi ko naman siguro ito ipopost--my social media accounts were also deactivated. Nagustuhan ko lang talaga ang pagkuha ng pictures ng mga bagay bagay as I appreciate them. But of course before eating, after waking up I did my morning care routine first thing.

Inaalagaan ko na rin naman ang balat ko noon but I was more busy with work. Ngayon ay nagkaroon ako ng mas maraming panahon para maalagaan ang sarili ko. I actually became thankful for it. I am grateful to have more time for myself... I realized all these things as I was in front of the bathroom mirror and washing my face with my newly discovered cleanser--I was also trying and discovering different skincare products and see what really best works for my skin on my own. But I also do little researches on the internet. And really my skin became even more better.

After washing my face I then applied some rose water toner followed by vitamin C serums and other creams or moisturizer that I realized my skin needed more. I smiled at myself in the mirror as I was doing my skincare routine. It was really good to have some time for yourself. To take care of your face and your body, and discover your inner self...

I sat comfortably in front of my unfinished painting. Kahapon ko pa lang din sinimulan ito. I took my cup of tea and sipped a little from it before I put it down again just beside me. And then I continued painting the beautiful mountains and calm blue waters as the scene just outside my windows in peace and quiet.