The Smell Of Blueberry Pie

Chapter 17

Gideon's POV

As he cried into Ms. Lyra's shoulder he started to actually tell her how he felt. Maybe because it was from all the crying, maybe it was because someone finally said that no one could go through this alone. But deep down Gideon knew why he finally started being honest about what he felt, it was the warm embrace that he hadn't felt since the last time he ever saw his mother.

She was just going to the store just a few simple things for dinner she offered a hug goodbye but he was a big kit he didn't want some sappy hug just for a grocery store trip. But if he had only known what would have happened on the way back from the store he would give anything to accept that last hug his mother ever offered him.

Gideon knew that when this cougar put her paw on his shoulder he wouldn't be able to hide the pain anymore. He has longed for his father to tell him it was ok that even though she was gone he was still there for him. But he knew that wasn't going to happen he and his pa were never been on good terms with each other ever since kindergarten. Gideon had never realized why his pa had started treating him so rough since kindergarten. It was only later after almost six months of therapy that Ms. Lyra finally was able to reach his father and talk with him. He was finally given an answer to why his pa was always rough and distant even when Gideon's mother was alive.

After almost six months of therapy, Gideon had already started to change for the better he had started talking to Lyra about his days. How things made him feel, what things he didn't want to face but was still ashamed of one being how guilty he felt for having bullied and beat up the bear cub Oren. He on multiple occasions had admitted to Ms. Lyra that he bullied Oren for his lunch cause he only ever had a PB&J that he would make himself before walking to school each morning. And he was jealous that Oren's parents made him lunches. They extended the effort to show their cub that they cared about him and they listened to him, even about the littlest things like what he'd want for lunch that week.

The bullying had stopped about a month into Gideon's biweekly sessions, when the principal was satisfied with Gideon's change in behavior he informed Ms. Lyra that these sessions were no longer necessary. She disagreed with ending Gideon's visits and wanted them to continue, he had indeed changed his behavior but with the things, Gideon had experienced she felt that it would be irresponsible of her to cast Gideon off simply because he's no longer bullies other mammals at school. Ms. Lyra had asked Gideon if he would like to keep having biweekly sessions with her, even though the principal had said with his improved behavior he was no longer required to attend sessions after school.

He looked at her for a few seconds then asked, "Am ah dumb because ah don't have glasses?"

"No Gideon you're not dumb because you don't have glasses." Ms. Lyra responded.

"It just seems like ya'll smart people have glasses, ya always seem to have an answer, Oren knows so much about planes he's always reading a new book about 'em. He even brings model plane kits to lunch and builds 'em at the table." Gideon explained.

"Well, when someone really loves something, or finds that things come easily to them they focus a lot of time into it. Oren probably just really loves planes and finds them interesting," Ms. Lyra paused.

After a moment she looked up at Gideon and then said "You seem to have spent some time noticing things Oren does, seems like you are having a loving interest in him?"

Gideon's face suddenly heated up and he quickly jumped up off the couch, "No! No ah, don't do any of that freak stuff my pa told me about!"

Ms. Lyra simply laughed slightly " Gideon, it's perfectly normal for two male mammals and two female mammals to be together. For many species, it's been extremely normal and accepted, lions, elephants, and rams for example. Your father simply fears what he's been taught or fears things he doesn't want to understand."

"W-wait really it's normal?"  Gideon said disbelieved.

He knew his father would never allow such a thing to be normal under his roof. He had made it painfully clear when he overheard him talking with his grandmother.

"Ms. Lyra can ah ask ya a weird question?" Gideon asked nervously scratching the back of his neck.

Something Ms. Lyra had taught him was a tick for when he became anxious. He knew that his relationship with his father had changed one day during kindergarten when he was still a kit. Something he had not let himself think about since it happened because of his father's verbal punishment that he had to endure in the parking lot of his elementary school. His pa had walked into the classroom to see young Gideon holding hands with young Oren, when the young kit saw his pa he said goodbye to his new friend with a hug. And walked over to his pa with his school stuff unaware that moments later, he would be changed beyond recognition because of one simple act he didn't even know was wrong. His father turned to the young kit when they got to the car and began to give his son a wound that would take years to even imagine overcoming the struggles Gideon will have to face. A scar that he still has to overcome almost every day, overcoming the internal shame, and, guilt. Something that he could only have fixed with the help he was able to get from Ms. Lyra. She was someone important to him, she had become a part of a family that he had never known he needed.