Mystery Girl

Leaving 4

Y/n's POV

Clouds pass by outside the window and although slightly blurred by the water in my eyes, they offer some hope. I breathe quietly, my heart slowing, once again reviewing recent events in my mind's eye. The feel of his lips on mine had been wondrous, soft and gentle, pressing against mine. His breath had been warm against my face and his shoulders had tensed under my hands. 

Shaking my head slightly, I remind myself to stay out of my head. 

Swirling images cloud my mind- the hurt in his voice, the desperation in his eyes. Once leaving the room, we were surrounded by noise and light once more, flashing cameras and bustling crowds, standing around and talking loudly. 

Overwhelmed, I had made a beeline for the airport gates, desperate to get to the aeroplane and get away from all the people. I could sense Jungkook close behind but in my rush and determination, I didn't bother slowing down for him. The security surrounding us had made a sort of wall between us and the chaos, making all the difference between a feeling of safety and complete vulnerability. 

I had stared at the pristine white floor as I walked, feeling both shielded and exposed in my sunglasses and mask. Once we were at the security desk, we had managed to get rid of most of the crowds and my heart was able to take a bit of a break from the banging against the inside of my rib cage. 

The whole airport had been a bright white up until this point; but here the carpets were a dark grey and the walls were a faded light blue colour, the room filled with back to back rows of black seats. The poor lady working behind the desk looked a little pale, her eyes wide and her movements shaky from being faced with a real-life idol and a whole intimidating security team. She reminded me of myself at the start of the week, terrified but obviously starstruck. 

"Hey, thanks for helping me," I smiled at her, trying to be as polite as possible. Gratefully, she had bowed slightly and made eye contact with me before looking away, clearly still uncomfortable. 

Turning away from the desk, I walked over to Jungkook, my body feeling oddly heavy as I walked. Jungkook has smiled softly at me and pulled me to his chest. I had felt my eyes begin to water again at the realisation that this would be the last time that something like this would happen to me. 

Jungkook had laughed lightly as he hugged me to him and I felt the way his chest shook against my face. I had pulled away eventually and stuck my tongue out at him, having taken off my mask with next to no one around. In my head, I acknowledged the thought that this was the real Jungkook- the one I had always wanted to meet, the goofy, nerdy one who is so much more than simply a singer and dancer. 

Lost in thoughts, I was almost too distracted to notice what was going on around me until he leaned down and kissed me on the cheek ever so softly, pulling away too quickly for me to process what was happening. 

I place my hand on my cheek now and I try to remember the way his lips had felt. So soft, so gentle, so him. 

After that had simply been a blur, I remember walking away from him, my legs feeling heavy, almost as heavy as my heart which sat in my chest, yearning to return the man who made my insides feel a sensation that is indescribable. 

At some point I had made my way to the plane, which is where I am now sitting, wistfully staring out of the window, hoping somehow this would bring me back to them. Alas, it seems that maybe my dreams of being with an idol will cement itself as a fantasy again. A silly child's dream. Out of my reach. 

It almost feels laughable how much leaving hearts my heart, how the pain settles in my stomach and inhibits the ability to breathe.

I fade in and out of sleep most of the plane journey, thoughts intelligible chaos in my mind. My dreams are far and few, instead there are random snippets of thoughts, images, or conversations that make their way into my mind, each vying for my attention. 

Eventually, I think about my mum, how she will want me to tell her everything, how maybe she will be excited. My heart lifts ever so slightly and I find my lips tug up just a little imagining our conversation. 

"Y/n?" I hum in response to my name being called and shift in my seat, yawning. "Miss y/n?" The voice repeats. Annoyed from being disturbed, I rub my eyes and stare at the person talking to me. The voice belongs to a tall man, fairly muscular, dressed in staff uniform. 

Flustered, I sit up and wait for them to talk again, trying my best to act polite despite the drooping of my eyelids and the need to stretch preoccupying my mind. 

The man in front of me smiles humourously before talking again. "The plane has landed, we can escort you through the airport if you wish, but we assumed you would not want to draw any more attention to yourself." 

I nod in reply, before replying. "Of course, I understand. Thank you for everything, I will make my own way home." Nodding in confirmation, the man walks down the aisle to inform the others as I stretch and pull myself to my feet. 

Stepping out of the plane, the sudden cool night air surrounding me felt foreign despite the clear familiarity of it all. With a heavy sigh of fresh air, I make my way down the steps carefully, picking my way in the darkness. 

Once in the airport, I look around and am hit with deja vu from arriving at the airport a week ago, anticipating finally meeting my idols. Standing alone in the middle of a busy, bright airport, I feel out of place and the sudden impact of recent memories knocks the wind out of me. Before I am overtaken with feelings and thoughts, I force my trainers to squeak and shuffle against the smooth floor, holding onto my carry-on bag as though it is the only thing tying me to reality. 

(1077 words)

Author's Note

Ahh here it finally is! Oops, guess we aren't in Korea anymore~ Are you as upset as y/n? Btw guys, I would really appreciate feedback on my writing, I have been trying to improve recently, but finding myself stuck. If any of you have advice, I would be glad to listen to it~ Anyway, vote and comment if you want, love you guys 💜