Mystery Girl

Leaving 1

Y/n's POV

My clothes are packed, my heart feels heavy in my chest and I find it difficult to mold my expressions into anything other than a solemn blankness, feeling almost numbed by the previous events of the day. 

It hurt seeing Taehyung so upset over my leaving. I wasn't aware that he felt so strongly about me, but I am glad that he does, even if guilt eats me up every time I spot the sadness lingering in his eyes. Who'd have thought that I would ever be the direct cause of Taehyung's grief? It is not something I have ever wanted to say that I was responsible for. I try to push these thoughts out of my mind forcefully as if pushing them off a cliff, but my heart still twinges in pain whenever I think about him and the other members. 

When Yoora and I were packing my things, she started crying, the silent kind of crying that you want to ignore but know that the tears are inevitable. She was silent, packing things beside me through what must have been blurry eyes. 

Touching her shoulder made Yoora look at me. We looked into each other's eyes, knowing it might be the last time. That was when her face crumpled. I held her against me and let her cry into my t-shirt, words still evading my grasp. Instead, I rubbed her back with my palm, closing my eyes and attempting to soothe her, even though I was also hurting. I think I was saving my tears for another time, maybe the plane journey, when I won't have to worry about concerned looks- well from anyone important to me anyway. 

It must have been at most ten minutes that I held Yoora to me, wallowing in the depths of the silence between us, but it felt as though a whole day had passed. I will miss Yoora. I really will. The easy smiles that would pass between us, the hushed giggles that we shared, the habit she had of zoning out. 

We exchanged emails and phone numbers and have pinky promised each other to stay in contact, but I know how foreign all this will feel when I am back at home. It will feel as though this didn't happen, that maybe it really was all a dream, maybe I would convince myself of that and forget about the occurrences of the past few days, instead disregarding them as scenes from dreams I had. I hope to be able to tell myself it was reality, to know in my heart that this really did happen.

The members hold me close and cry as I say my goodbyes, my plane is booked to leave about halfway through the concert and so I have to leave now in order to arrive at the airport with sufficient time. The way that they grip onto me and the pain that flashes in their eyes whenever I meet theirs is soul-destroying. I feel unable to leave, pinned to the floor, to stay here with them forever, but I guess my days were always numbered, my time limited. 

I can't stop the tears running down my cheeks, and so I let them fall, not bothering to acknowledge them even as Jimin wipes them away gently, his intent gaze refusing to leave my face. I feel so small crowded in between the members- each of them towering over me, but instead of feeling intimidating, it feels safe. I feel safe here with them. Now I have to leave them. 

I give them each one last tight hug, reassuring them that I would be fine and keep in contact before pulling away reluctantly, feeling cold and vulnerable removed from them. "Good luck with your concert, I know you'll do well, you always do," I smile at them softly, attempting not to let out a sob and instead encourage them. "Thank you," they whisper, their eyes flickering between me and the floor. 

"Goodbye!" I call over my shoulder as I turn around and force one foot in front of the other. The familiar faces of staff members guide me to the car, looking deeply apologetic, although they didn't need to be, why would they? 

This was the best thing that had ever happened to me in my entire life. With this thought, I climb into the car, pulling on my seatbelt and sinking into the leather behind me, letting out a sigh, feeling the tears stream down my face quietly. 

The car door to the other passenger seat opens, but I don't look up, instead resorting to leaning my head against the window and closing my eyes against the tears. It would only be one of the staff anyway. Opening my eyes again, I watch the pedestrians on the pavement and yearn for the smiles of the members again. 

I smile spitefully at my own selfishness, feeling ridiculous and small in such a foreign country effectively alone. What a blur these past few days have been. Maybe over time, the ache in my heart will dull, but the fresh wound piercing into my chest is hard to breathe around. 

"Y/n," a voice urges from next to me. The sound makes me jump, my daydreams interrupted. Turning my head away from the window, I am met with Jungkook. My breath catches in my throat as my muscles tense. Breathing out, I speak, my voice laced with confusion. "Jungkook?" He nods and replies with a small smile, the kind that sends me over the edge, the kind that breaks my heart, maybe irreparably. 

Noticing the overwhelming anguish overcome my features, Jungkook brings his hand up to my face and brushes my cheek gently, his hand warm and rough against the coolness of my skin. Unable to comprehend anything around my swirling emotions, I let myself rest my face into the palm of his hand, relaxing immeasurably with the comfort his touch brings me. Although it feels natural to close my eyes, I am locked in his gaze, unable to find my way out of the complexity of his stare. 

"I wish you didn't have to go."

(1027 words)

Author's Note

Hiiii guess who finally updated! Really sorry for how late this chapter is, I'll be honest I forgot about this fic for a sec- Anyway, I'm back and you have more content to look forwards to! Vote and comment if you wish, love you guys 💜