Protecting Olivia

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

LIVY

When Matthew first started spending time in the hospital in Brisbane, he became a master of sneaking past myself, Mia and the nurses when we were distracted. He would sneak out of the ward and to a random vending machine, spending what little pocket money he had on chocolates and lollies and hiding himself in a random location to eat his loot.

It would throw Mia and I into a complete frenzy as we scoured the hospital for him, sometimes finding him hiding in a cleaning cupboard if we got lucky, more often than not, he would just appear back on the ward with chocolate smeared across his face.

And although I did the parent thing and reprimanded him for his behaviour, I couldn't blame him. The hospital was boring, no matter how much I tried to keep him entertained. Looking at the same four walls, which never changed even if the room did, is hard on anyone, but none more than a little boy that just wanted to play outside.

I didn't even know that Matthew wasn't in his bed when I got a call from Jane, telling me not to panic, that Matthew was safe and that he had shown up in Ethan's room and Ethan asked her to let me know. As soon as I hung up the phone, I got a frantic call from Mia, who apologised profusely for letting him out of her sight.

I didn't blame Mia. It had been a while since Matthew had snuck out on us that we both let our guards down, thinking that that particular phase was over. I knew exactly how it had happened, and even if she had been in the room with him the entire time, staring straight at him, he still would have managed to disappear. I sometimes wonder if I am raising the next Houdini.

Of course, when I got to the hospital, Matthew got a strong talking to about sneaking out again, though I completely understood why he did it. He had overheard us talking about Ethan, he had put two and two together and discovered his father was in the same hospital as him. He had longed to have his father in his life, someone who would play with him, do things with him that fathers do. I tried to fill that role as much as possible, but he knew it wasn't the same.

So no, I couldn't blame him for finding Ethan's room and going to see him. And I'm grateful that Ethan didn't turn him away, and that he thought of me by letting me know in the only way he could. Matthew told me that Ethan said they could hang out, which made me even more grateful that he appeared to want to know Matthew. I just hope that Ethan is telling the truth and won't disappoint Matthew by not keeping his word. Matthew is already so excited after meeting Ethan that I'm terrified he will get his heart broken.

The doctor has said that Matthew should be okay to go home in a couple of days. Though I'm not sure where home is. I really don't want to go back to that house, the images of Ethan bleeding out on the floor coming to mind whenever I think about it. And I don't want to overstay my welcome at Jordan and Jane's place, considering Ethan lives there too. It leaves me in an unsettling predicament. Go back to a place that is featured in my current nightmares, stay at my ex-boyfriends' place and see him every single day, or pay an exorbitant amount to stay at a hotel until I find a place for us. None are good options in my book, but I know I have to make a decision.

I watch as Matthew finishes up his dinner, screwing up his nose at his last bite before pushing it away and lying back in the bed. I know he is sick of hospital food, bored of the mass cooked bland food offered to him. But hopefully, this will be his last stay in hospital for a very long time. He changes the channel on his TV and yawns loudly, moving around in the bed to get comfortable. I take the hint, standing up to kiss his forehead and move away from the bed.

Although I sleep in the uncomfortable recliner they provided me, I usually leave for a little while after dinner to give Matthew some space. He knows I don't go far, but he's at that age where he doesn't want his mother crowding him. It's a stark contrast to when he first started having longer stays in hospital three years ago, when I couldn't even leave to go to the toilet without him panicking.