Protecting Olivia

CHAPTER FORTY

LIVY

I'd felt horrible when I'd heard Ethan leave the cabin and the door slam behind him. I knew I was treating him badly; I just didn't know how to deal with my newly realised feelings for him. Last time I fell for him, I ended up with a broken heart. The thought of going through that again terrifies me. I know things are different, that everything is out in the open and that what tore us apart last time won't happen again, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't get hurt again. And Ethan has the power to destroy me.

I called Mia after he left, needing her to tell me that it would be okay. She did of course, she told me to just go with the flow and let whatever happens, happen. She reminded me of how happy I was when we were together eleven years ago, despite the pain of how it ended, I couldn't deny how good we were, how right everything felt, and even though I know it would be different were we to get together again, being older and having Matthew, I didn't doubt that it would feel just as right as it had before.

I had no idea how Ethan felt about me, if there was even a chance for us, but I knew that I had to at least explore the possibility and not shut him out completely. Even if he doesn't feel the same way, I would know that I had tried, and I wouldn't regret that.

Ethan and I spent the afternoon exploring the small town of Port MacDonnell. It's a quaint little town, kept afloat by the rock lobster industry and the tourists that flock here during the holidays. We'd come when South Australia had finished their school term, so it was busier than I think it would be at any other time of year. Still, it was peaceful and a nice little getaway from Perth.

I felt myself relaxing more and more in his presence, though my body was in tune with the innocent and accidental touches that occurred between us. I knew not to read too much into it, despite the new knowledge of my feelings for him, there was nothing that Ethan was showing that indicated he felt remotely the same way. Still, I promised myself I would go with the flow and just enjoy my time with him without getting too far into my head.

We spend the afternoon exploring the small town and the large rocks along the coastline, keeping an eye out for one of their famous rock lobsters. We never did see one, giving up when the sun began to set. We had dinner at the local pub, which was brimming with tourists and locals alike, until we finally headed back to our cabin to check in with Matthew.

*

I take the glass of red wine offered to me from Ethan's outstretched hand, thanking him silently while pulling my legs underneath me and leaning against the back of the couch. Ethan takes a seat on the other side of the couch and sips from his beer bottle. I can't help but watch the way he brings it to his soft lips, and the bobble of his Adams apple as he swallows. He brings the bottle away from his mouth and places it on the coffee table in front of us, I divert my eyes quickly, realising that I had been staring.

"Matthew seems to be enjoying his time with Lucy and Seb," Ethan states, breaking the silence between us. I nod my head in agreement, looking back in his direction.

"I'm glad he is, it's the first time I've been away from him for this long." I say quietly, looking at the wine in my glass as it swirls slightly, trying to push down the uneasy feeling of being away from Matthew.

"He will be okay." Ethan tells me and I nod my head again.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Not really," Ethan shrugs his shoulders, "I just don't know what we are going to be walking into."

"What do you mean?" I sit up a little bit higher, my body angling towards him as I study him closely.

"There's nothing on them really. Her father had a low range DUI thirty years ago, but other than that, they have no record at all." He purses his lips, his brow furrowed as if deep in thought.

"Isn't that a good thing?" I ask quietly.

"I guess so, but then again, they could just be good at getting away with things." He pauses for a moment, as if debating whether to say what's on his mind, before letting out a soft sigh and speaking again. "What if them being bad people is the only true thing my father ever told me?" he asks, looking into my eyes as if I hold all the answers. He looks so vulnerable in this moment that I can't help but reach out to take his hand in mine.

"Then we walk away, enjoy a few days away and go back home." I tell him. He smiles softly and nods his head.

"Thank you," his voice is soft, his eyes lingering on our joined hands as he squeezes mine. "For being here with me," he finishes.

"I'll always be here." I whisper, my eyes meeting his blue ones. For a moment, we just stare at each other, enjoying the comfortable silence between us. I realise at this moment that I made the right decision in going with the flow, in allowing Ethan in. Even if nothing ever happens between us, as heartbreaking as that would be, I'm just happy having him back in my life for good.