Protecting Olivia

CHAPTER THIRTY THREE

ETHAN

Matt has the biggest smile on his face as he struggles with his rod, trying to reel in whatever he has hooked while simultaneously telling me he doesn't want help. I stand back and watch, my fingers itching to help him in his struggle, but I won't. I can see he is getting tired, pulling against the current in the river we are fishing in, but he hasn't given up once.

I'm not big on fishing, it's never been something that has interested me, but Matt wanted me to teach him, he wanted me to do all the things that dads apparently do, so I indulged him. And surprisingly, I have enjoyed being here with him, getting to know the little things that I didn't before. These past four weeks of him and Livy living with me, I have learned a lot about both of them.

Livy hasn't changed much, though I never got a chance to live with her before, or even see her overnight, she still has those little quirks that I found so endearing eleven years ago. But getting to know Matt was eye opening. There were a lot of things that he did that felt like I was looking in the mirror, some things were just like watching Livy. And others were just strange, like how he put on his shoes and socks. The kid seriously puts one sock on, then a shoe, before putting the other sock on and the other shoe. It's just wrong in every way, but he said it feels strange to do it the correct way. I really don't know what to make of it.

I look at my watch as Matt continues to struggle with his catch, knowing that we should pack up and head back to Livy's new place and help her unpack. It was Livy's idea for us to come out here today, she said it would be easier to do everything on her own, but I wanted to help her. Well, I really wanted her to stay with me, both of them to stay with me, but knowing I would never win that argument, I just wanted to spend more time with both of them together.

Matt finally starts to bring his catch to the surface, and I can't help but chuckle when I see what he had hooked. It's no wonder he struggled to bring it in. He still tries hard to get it to the bank, not once looking into the water until its just within reach. I see the moment he realises what it is, the look of utter disappointment on his face as he lets the line go slack and stares at it in horror. Laughing, I go and pull the tyre out of the water and place it on the bank.

"Biggest thing we've caught all day," I laugh earning a huff from Matt as he unhooks his line and starts to pack up his rod and reel.

"We should go help mum," he grumbles, collecting his tackle box and stomping towards the car. I chuckle and grab my gear, grinning at the tyre that would have exhausted my boy before following him to the car. I can't help but feel proud that he hauled that thing in himself, especially without breaking the line.

We chuck everything in the back of my car before jumping in the front. I turn the engine on as I watch Matt put his seatbelt on, satisfied that he is secure, I take off, making my way to the dirt track that will lead us to the main road.

"Hey dad," Matt says hesitantly, I glance over at him, waiting for him to say what he has on his mind. "I really don't like fishing." I can tell his nervous about saying that to me that I let out a laugh.

"Neither do I." I tell him with a chuckle.

"Then why did you take me?" he asks, his eyes boring into the side of my head as I watch the road.

"You wanted me to take you." I say with a shrug of my shoulders. He doesn't say anything in reply, just turns his head and stares out the window.

It takes half an hour before I'm driving through the streets towards Livy's new place. I'm grateful that it's only a few blocks from my house, knowing that I can be there in only two minutes should something happen. As I pull up out the front, I take note of Lucy, Nicole and Kaley's cars. I knew they would show up today, no doubt Jane would be there too. I turn off the engine and go to open the door before noticing that Matt hasn't moved at all.

"You okay mate?" I ask, pulling the door closed again and watching him closely. He shrugs his shoulders, staring at the house before turning towards me.

"I don't want to move. I like living with you." He tells me, a frown covering his face. I sigh and turn my body towards him, I know how he feels, being around Livy and him all the time for the last four weeks has been the best time of my life.

"You will still see me, I'm right around the corner." I tell him.

"It's not the same." He says quietly, looking down at his lap. I honestly don't know what to say to him, I can't honestly say that it's a good thing, because in my eyes its not. Every part of me believes that he and Livy should be living with me, that we should be a family. But that's not how it is.

"I know it's not, but I'll see you everyday that I'm home." I tell him honestly. He simply nods, the frown not leaving his face before he unbuckles his seatbelt and opens the car door. I follow after him, feeling defeated as we walk in the front door to their new home.

As soon as I step inside, I can see the progress Livy and the girls have made. The boxes in the kitchen and loungeroom are all flattened and sitting on the floor near the door, the bookshelf next to the television is filled to the brink, with more books sitting right on top. I make a note that Livy really needs a second book shelf, or maybe a third, going by how often she finds yet another one to buy. In the four weeks she stayed with me, she seemed to have a couple of new books each day.

All five of the girls are sitting on the couches, empty wine glasses on the coffee table. Kaley, Nicole and Jane smile as they see us, making Lucy and Livy turn their heads towards us. The first thing I notice is Livy's red eyes and puffy nose, making me instantly step towards her.

"Are you okay?" I ask, taking in her tear-streaked cheeks. She gives me a half smile and nods her head.

"Allergies," she tells me though I don't believe her for a second. I don't push her though, as much as I want to, I know its not my place, instead I nod my head in understanding. I go to comment on how much they have got done, when my phone vibrates in my pocket. Pulling it out, I recognise the number as one of the retired commandos who were keeping tabs on my mother.

"Sorry, I have to take this." I tell them as I step out of the front door and click connect before bringing the phone to my ear. "Collins." I bark into the phone; I hear a throat clearing before he speaks.

"Your mother didn't come out in nearly two days." He tells me, getting straight to the point. "I broke the door down to check on her, but it was too late."

I sink back into the brick wall of the house, not saying anything for the moment. He takes my silence as a gateway to continue.

"I called the police, and they have taken her body to the morgue. No doubt they will probably contact you sometime today." He states.

"Thanks mate, I'll wait for their call." I say before hanging up. I wasn't surprised by the news, knowing that this day would come for as long as I can remember, but I was surprised by the lump in my throat that it caused. She was never a mother to me, never someone who showed love or affection to myself or Kate, only to her husband. She spent most of my life being high, and the times she wasn't she was playing the part in one of my fathers' diabolical schemes. I shouldn't feel any sadness over her death, she was a stranger and never would have felt anything if something happened to me or Kate. So why do I feel anything at all about her?