Legions of unspoken affliction

Chapter 13 : Happiness

Riki’s road to recovery was not an easy path, he faced several ups and downs as any individual would. Just as he thought he was better; he’d face the problem of falling back into his depressive thoughts and behaviour harmful to himself.

Thankfully, he receives professional help weekly and is on the right track to recovery. They have narrowed the cause down to his childhood and trauma from losing Sunoo.

“How are you today, Riki?” The psychiatrist asked.

“I’m good.”

“Have you been keeping a journal and writing down the happy things you did?”

“The first few days, I was excited to write the journal so I kept myself busy throughout the day so I can have something to write, but I think it was on the fourth day that I was no longer motivated to write it anymore,” Riki responded.

“Yes, he has been in bed quite a lot the past few days. Although he isn’t doing anything bad, I think he has been laying around playing games and watching videos a lot. He also mentioned that he actually doesn’t find the games and videos interesting, and was just bored,” Mrs Park added.

“I understand. This is far more common than you may think it is. Other than the sad thoughts they may have, they face problems like being unmotivated and the inability to get out of bed as they don’t want to face the outside world,” The psychiatrist told Mrs Park. Shifting her gaze to Riki and asks, “Riki, I believe you may feel like you are not worthy as you can’t even do something so simple and the lack of motivation is killing you, that’s why you are finding things to do even though it bores you. Is that correct?”

Riki nodded and the psychiatrist took out a small notepad, writing down some key points as she speaks.

“There are many ways to counter this lack of motivation, but first it is important to acknowledge your self-worth. You must believe you are not useless and have the mindset where you want to get up and do the things you want to, and you will.”

“Oh gosh, I’m so naggy, I say this every week,” she joked, hoping for Riki to not feel so tense.

Riki, who was trying his hardest to listen attentively, could not find any form of laughter in the joke. He felt that he had to hold himself together to not run off distracted by the sounds of the birds outside.

“It is also important to remember it is okay to start all, you can’t expect a seed to bloom into a flower overnight, it takes time. And, since there are multiple ways to do this, you might want to try these out one at a time. Give each method about a week and see how things go, if it’s not working well, move on to another method.” She said shifting her gaze between Riki and Mrs Park’s.

The psychiatrist wrote down a few methods for Riki to try, handing it to Riki. Although the action may seem thoughtless to Mrs Park, it was intended to mean more, and to Riki, it did.
By handing this small slip of paper to the young boy, it was able to make him feel trust, the thing he needed most to get up and back on track.

“I drew a star on the third method, giving him some space to explore new topics and picking up a new hobby because I think this is the method that will suit Riki most, I advise that you can start off with that since even if it doesn’t help much with the drive to seek for his motivation, he might be able to pick up a new interest.”

“We will. He has been looking at dance quite often lately and seems to be interested. I’ve been considering taking him for a class with his brother since he too is interested.” Mrs Park said.

“That’s great Riki! I hope you get super talented and become the world’s best dancer. Next time, show me some of your moves!” The psychiatrist said in an exciting tone, which was able to completely ease off Riki, making him smile and feel relaxed.

That day, Riki went home feeling brighter than he has been feeling lately. Immediately getting Jay to teach him some moves and he picked it up so fast and easily, making Jay and their parents all amazed by his talent. The flood of compliments made Riki’s self-esteem soar high, he felt the motivation he was looking for all this time, he wanted to dance, he knows he can do that well. This, was the happiest smile they have seen on Riki in such a long time.

“Motivation does not precede action, action precedes motivation.”