Legions of unspoken affliction

Chapter 16 : my history

“I killed someone before…” Riki said.

“What?” Jungwon was confused.

“I killed someone, I killed my friend, I killed Sunoo hyung,” Riki said to Jungwon, looking at him with teary eyes hoping to get some positive response.

But all Jungwon did was remain silent, he froze.

“You what?” Jungwon asked again, to confirm what he just heard was correct.

“I killed my best friend,” Riki repeated.

“But why?” asked Jungwon.

“I…don’t know,” responded the younger

“You couldn’t have killed someone without a reason, only psychopaths go around killing for fun.”

“I think…I got carried away while having fun and accidentally… but I didn’t know what to do to save him so he…” Riki said then slowly gone quiet.

“When did this happen?”

“About a year ago.”

“You were this old and you don’t know how to help someone or do anything about it?”

“No…” Riki said, internally blaming himself for being so stupid and useless, full of regrets of that day. “I sort of didn’t have a very good past and I do a lot of…’bad’ things as you would call it.”

“Like what?”

“Punching people, pulling their hair, kicking them, slapping them…”

“Why do you do that?”

“I grew up… suffering from that,” Riki said in a sad tone.

“Were you bullied?”

“No. Well kind of? I think the word is abuse?”

“You were abused?” Jungwon asked, eyes wide open. He didn’t think Riki would have gone through that since he met Mrs Park once during orientation when she came to pick Riki up, she thought she was a nice lady.

“Yeah…my parents in Japan, they well kind of dislike me because I’m a boy, they only wanted daughters. So, I was sort of like their maid? And they will do all the things I said to me if I do something wrong.”

“That’s so horrible of them! I can’t believe they would do such a thing!” Jungwon exclaimed

“Yea...”

“Oh, and you’re from Japan?”

“Yes? Nishimura… Riki? You can’t tell I’m Japanese?”

“Oh, I didn’t know your surname and I thought you were born here. Your Korean is amazing.”

“Haha thank you, it’s all thanks to mama. She taught me Korean after I moved in with them?”

“What do you mean?”

“I was kicked out from home and mama took me in.”

“Oh my god, I thought she was your real mother, you two seem to have an amazing relationship.”

“We do! Mama also taught me a lot of things and helped me get better by seeing a psy-ki-a-trist?”

“Psychiatrist?”

“Yes! That word is hard to pronounce. But now I basically don’t do the stuff anymore. Okay maybe a few times if I feel out of control.” Riki said

“Ohhh.”

Riki snuggles into Jungwon’s shoulder, feeling completely at ease with him. Silence fills in the gap, the only sound was them breathing and the birds chirping from the outside.

“Hey, Riki?” Jungwon said, breaking the silence.

“Hm?”

“Just because you killed someone doesn’t mean it’s your fault. It’s not your fault, it’s your parents’ for making you suffer through it. Also, I’m not scared of you or anything, I trust you won’t hurt me. And I’m happy you trust me enough to tell me all that,” Jungwon said.

“Sunoo hyung?” Riki’s mind was clouded, he remembered Sunoo telling him something similar before. He was hallucinating, he saw the boy in front of him as Sunoo.

“Sunoo hyung you’re back!” Riki said excitedly as he pulls Jungwon in for a tight hug, leaving him confused.

“Don’t leave me again Sunoo hyung! Please! I’m so sorry, please don’t go.” He hugged Jungwon tighter.

Jungwon was lost but decided to go with it.

Maybe it’ll make him feel better.

He gently stroked Riki’s back, trying to calm him down.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.” Jungwon said while Riki cried into his embrace.

Calmed down, Riki was finally able to see and think clearly, realizing the one before him was not Sunoo, but his senior, Jungwon. Although he trusted Jungwon and would pour his heart out to him, he still felt embarrassed of what he just did. Pulling away and hiding his face.

Jungwon smiles a little and pinches Riki’s cheek gently. “You’re adorable.”