Legions of unspoken affliction

Chapter 17 : Touch

Riki sitting alone at the canteen, loneliness can be seen from his back.
"Riki, can i join you?" Jungwon approached him and asked.

"Huh? Oh hyung, yea of course. Have a seat," He smiled.

"Okay."

He sat down across Riki, ate as they discussed about their day.

"I know right! Math is so boring!" Jungwon whined, agreeing with Riki. "And I have math right after this, urgh."

"Haha lucky me, I don't have Math today," Riki said, sticking his tongue out to tease Jungwon.

"No fair! Hmph!" Jungwon pouted and to which Riki laughed.

"Do you want to go take a walk around the school garden?" Asked Jungwon.

"Sure." Riki responded, standing up, stacking his and Jungwon's trays together before returning them at the tray return counter, then heading back to Jungwon.

"Let's go?"

"Okay."

The garden was silent and empty as it usually was. Nobody comes here often since they rather play basketball at the court, or sit around to chat with their friends. But Jungwon was different, he preferred spending his break time in a quiet and empty space so he always head to the garden. The sounds of the birds chirping, the sound of the leaves brushing against each other as the wind blows through them, the sound of the mini fountain, was all therapeutic to the older.

A nice, calming stroll was disrupted when Jungwon's heart began to pound as his hand accidentally brushed pass Riki's. Riki didn't seem to have noticed it but Jungwon sure did. His cheek a bright shade of red as he held his own hand close to himself, trying to ignore and forget about it, but he just simply can't.

He found himself staring at Riki's hand quite frequently during their stroll, and imagining he's being engulfed in Riki's embrace. The imaginary warm feeling made him feel delighted, he wished it was real.

Must be calming he thought

Recess ended and Riki waved goodbye to Jungwon after walking him back to class and before heading off to his own. Blanking out, he fantasized about Riki, holding his hands and hugging him. He wanted to spend more time with him.

"What's wrong with me!" Jungwon exclaimed while having dinner with his sister, to which she calmly replied "You've fallen for him. It's normal to have a crush."

"Why not confess to him?" His sister suggested.

"Are you crazy!? I'm not a girl, what if he finds it weird!"

"Come on, it's getting so normal nowadays, I'm sure it'll be okay."

"We can't be sure can we? And we also don't know if he's... you know. Also he's so young and innocent, what if he doesn't even know what it means!"

"That's thinking too much. Even 10 year olds know the meaning of it." His sister responded.

"I don't know. I don't want to risk it. I've only just gotten to know him and he trusts me, I don't want to ruin what we have now..." the younger said.

"It's fine wonnie, whatever youre feeling is normal. Many people go through that, but what you need to remember is that, if you don't let him know how you feel, you might lose him to someone else. He might just never be yours. Or he might actually like you too but you both have the same thing in mind and completely miss the chance."

"So you think I should go for it?" Jungwon asked.

"I mean, yes I do. But then again, if he doesn't like you, i don't want you to face the pain of the rejection. It hurts so bad, and it's embarrassing..."

"You've confessed to someone before?"

The question made Jungwon's sister cheek flush red, avoiding Jungwon's gaze.

"Ayyyy you have."

She drank some water and cleared her throat. "Yes I have but that's a story for another time."

After teasing his sister, Jungwon got deep in thought. He reflected on his feelings, himself, thought about his future, he was unsure about what he should do. He wasn't ready to let him know.