Always Been You: Loki x Fem!Reader

Chapter 2 - There's no need to

"Settle down," The queen said," Let me appoint you to all your dormitories." She walked to the front of the group, looking down at the young gods.

You looked around and counted ten pupils altogether, including yourself. Five pairs and five rooms with ten beds.

Frigga began, "I will call out your names and you will go to the room where the door handle shines. Your suitemate will follow behind."

"Melina, Your suitemate is Fal. Erathamus, go with Aldrith. Thor, go with Hogan, Han with Edeline. And Loki with Y/n." She disclosed, watching the children walk to their rooms with tired sighs.

Of course, Frigga would put you two in the same room. Following Loki, you walk away from Frigga. You didn't like the idea of sharing a room with that snake, but you knew it was better than being stuck in a stone castle with little to no company on Vanaheim.

The room was gold, white and black, shades of peony hinting on fabric and cushions. It had two beds against a wall, each a metre apart, and lined with black silk. Two ottomans sat at the ends, awaiting tired feet. The cushions that were on it were velvety and soft. Paintings hung above the beds, giving it a more opulent design.

A lighted chandelier hung from the ceiling, faintly illuminating the room with a dusty amber glow, making you take note of the door which you proposed to be the bathing room. A single-armed settee sat in one corner of the room, behind empty shelves to be used as a bookcase, and in front of a wide, low table which would be used mostly for tea.

Potted plants laced the windows that guarded the balconies, whose curtains were made of gold silk. It was indeed luxurious, reflecting Asgard's true nature.

Sighing, you walked through the doors, inhaling carefully with Loki behind you.
"How have you been?" His voice was hoarse and dry, in need of water. His question was slowed after the first syllable, unsure of whether his query was of good intention.

You didn't respond initially, but pondered on whether you should bite back with a sassy remark or reply with how you were genuinely feeling. Moving towards the right bed, you flop down and let your back stretch.

"I am taking this bed," You declared, letting your eyes shut. Loki moved forward, approaching his bed with a certain sense of caution. He sat on its edge, watching for any signs of repudiation of his actions from you.

He didn't speak after that, not until you sat up to brush your hair in front of the vanity mirror. "Are we still friends?"

A simple and straight-forward sentence, returned with an equally simple statement. "No," His back was now facing yours as you brushed your hair, making you unable to behold the disappointment in his eyes.

Feeling bold, Loki decided he wanted an answer. He straightened his back and moved to the shelves holding his clothes, carefully taking out his sleepwear.

"And why not? I believe I deserve to know," His voice croaked, slowly gaining confidence.

"Just because we're suitemates, does not mean we need to be friends again," you snapped, placing the hairbrush on the ledge. Getting under the covers of your bed, you sighed, "And I am not required to give you an answer, and if you are as intelligent as I thought you to be, you'd know why."

You pulled up the sheets, covering yourself from neck to toe. Staring out into the balcony, you watched the moon float across the night's sky.

You heard the rustling of clothes shift, which meant Loki probably took off his shirt and dressed himself for resting. No more than a minute later, the sounds of springs informed you he was in bed.

Your breathing began to quicken, as you ran your hands down your thighs, feeling the scars hidden from Loki under the comfort of the sheets. Your breathing hitched as the memories of the past three years came flooding back.

It was like a nightly routine. Feel the scars, envision your dead mother, shed a few tears and force yourself to sleep with a blocked nose. Closing your eyes, You saw your mother, laying on the ground in a pool of her own blood, her stunning white dress stained scarlet. She was in severe pain but still smiling. Your eyes began to well up, but only a single tear managed to roll down your cheek.

It was frustrating, not being able to cry properly. It would be only one or two tears, but never an entire stream of salty water like books describe it.

It was probably your fault, you thought, your mother's death. You always thought it to be because you could not protect her nor help her as she lay bleeding to her death. You made it your fault. A dead mother, because of you.

Life after her passing was miserable. Vanaheim had only one successor and she was required to be protected, which meant that you were locked in a castle and the people that came to visit you were to be checked. It was a tedious process, which lessened the number of visits they made.

With even the staff of the castle reduced, you moved on to spend time in the libraries of the palace, indulging yourself in other worlds beyond reach.

Warrior training and Magic made up most of what you read. It seemed easy to get lost in a world of fantasy, but at the end of it all, you had to return back to your life. One that was filled with boredom, misery and loneliness.

The only person that was close to you on Vanaheim was your chambermaid, Astrid. She was a good listener and helped you with your panic attacks. But like all good things, her time of serving you was decreased and she would only come to clean while you were in the libraries or halls, and draw your bath before bed.

You practised magic and read about the runes and prophecies. It wasn't all that exciting, but you had to keep yourself occupied. While searching for more books, you came across those that belonged to war and sword training.

You decided you'd ask Frigga to enlist you in warrior training, as you weren't sure if princesses were allowed to fight on Asgard, aside from the valkyries, but they were commoners. With that thought, you stared out the window, and noticed the stars twinkling.

You remembered what Frigga had told you after your mother died, That their souls turn into stars, and they twinkle when they are at peace. You just hoped that your mother was one of these twinkling stars.

Finally, you let your eyes, red and stained with tears, seal shut and rest.

i really have no idea why this chapter is so fucking dramatic.

anyways got my posting schedule everyday since there's already like 27 something chapters and I'm almost done with what i need but enjoy it while it lasts 👹

- nino :)