Hearing people say "You're the strongest person I've ever known" doesn't feel like complement anymore,
It doesn't make me think "I can always get through of anything" nor make me feels like "I can do this"
It doesn't give me the confidence like how it used to before,
It make me feels like giving up was not a choice for me anymore
It makes me anxious and felt like I couldn't be weak,
I feel like I couldn't breakdown right in front of them or anyone
They've never seen me cry on my knees, they've never seen the other side of me
So even when I feel like giving up, I will still smile for them
Whenever they ask if I was okay I always answer "I'm fine" "I'm okay" like my mouth was programmed to do it,
Even if merely breathing seems hard for me,
It was so hard that I just breathe out the pain
And regardless, the only choice I have is to be strong for its the only way to get through it
