In My Dreams

It Hurts

The pain from her jaw disappeared as she blacked out again.

Meredith ran through the empty hospital hallways. She gasped for air. She could breathe. Finally. She put a hand to her chest. She trembled, she had to sit down.

"In here." Derek ushered her to the supply closet. She slowly lowered herself to the floor. She could feel him rub her back. She forced herself to look up at him, afraid that he would disappear from view again... but knowing that she would not bear it to not look at him.

"Breathe, Meredith." Derek said, his eyes full of compassion.

"You're here again."

"You almost died today," he said. He lowered himself beside her.

"I almost died today." Meredith repeated, panicking, "It hurt... It- I'm so scared."

"Shhh, it's okay... breathe. Just breathe."

She took several long deep breaths. "I can't.. I don't..."

"Meri?" He held her hand, she squeezed hard, to confirm it was real.

"Why? Why me? Why you? Why do terrible things happen to us all the time?" She leaned on his shoulder.

"...I don't know."

She couldn't see his expression but imagined it to be that sad thoughtful look he gave when he was completely blown away by her vulnerability. Then he sighed. "It took a bomb exploding for me to realize that I couldn't live without you."

"It took an appendix for me to realize I couldn't love anyone else the way I love you."

Derek chuckled, "Really?"

She nodded, "Really."

"I wish I could be there for you in the real world... I don't know how you live without me."

Meredith sniffed. "I don't know either... I just do."

"You're so strong... you'll make it through."

"It hurts... so much."

"What? What hurts?"

She shook her head. He couldn't fix it for her. "Everything, Derek. Everything hurts."

He clutched her and she leaned into him again. The walls were getting blurry. "I'll be here, in your dreams." It was all he could promise.

"Thank you," she sniffed as she pulled away for a minute. Her gaze lowered to his lips, her hand covered his cheek and they kissed a soft sweet kiss. "I'll be okay."

The supply closet faded.

Meredith blinked, and through bleary swollen eyes, saw the familiar faces of Richard, Maggie and Alex. She was too tired to say or do anything. But it felt good to know that in the real world she wasn't alone.

A/N: Thanks guys, for all your reactions! I feel special! Vote, comment, add to your list! More soon!