In My Dreams

You Go

The water was cold. It started a few short minutes ago as a trickle, just wetting the bottom of Meredith's shoes, now it was rushing over her chest. She swayed, struggling to keep afloat as it filled the hospital hallway. Suddenly her footing gave way and she was swept along with the current. She struggled, trying to keep her head above water, trying to breathe.

She'd been here before. This was old hat.

BUT Everything has changed.

I don't want you dating other people.

I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. I want to build us a house. I want to settle down and grow old with you. I want to die when I'm 110 years old in your arms. I don't want 48 uninterrupted hours. I want a lifetime.

I'm just gonna try and trust you...I believe we can be extraordinary together rather than ordinary apart...

I love you Meredith Grey, and I want to spend the rest of my life, with you.

Well... we would make pretty babies.

You don't get to die on me! I can't live without you!

You... you're everything. I love you and I'm not going to stop loving you. I can't live without you.

Derek, it's okay. You go. We'll be fine.

Meredith was tired, she tore through the water and gasped for air only to be pulled under again.

And for a second- just for a second- I thought, what's the point?

I can live without you...but I don't want to. I don't ever want to.

If there's a crisis, you don't freeze, you move forward. You get the rest of us to move forward. Because you've seen worse. You've survived worse, and you know we'll survive too.

Somehow though, she found the strength for another burst- her lungs greedily sucked in air.

Like I was drowning and you saved me...

Now she was saving herself.

I got all whole and healed.

But she wasn't alone.

It's a beautiful day to save lives, let's have some fun.

She crashed against the elevator doors, her hand accidentally pressed the 'up' button and the door opened. The water pushed her inside and suddenly subsided. Meredith lay there gasping, her scrubs soaking wet, hair plastered on her white face. But she was breathing. She was breathing and she was safe.

Through her splayed fingers, she could feel the vibration of the elevator as it moved. Slowly she pushed herself up and leaned against the pale pink wall. Unconsciously, she wrapped her arms around herself. Her gaze drifted to the five squares above the door. She swallowed nervously... Where was she going?

Ding!

The doors opened and she closed her eyes, afraid of what was on the other side. There was a pause, a shuffle, and the doors closed again, but the elevator did not move. A familiar scent wafted in the air. Lavender.

And she could feel him.

She could feel the warmth of his body... he was inches from her. She shivered. Her scrubs were gone, she was wearing something light, and thin. She tucked her chin in and looked down. She recognized it now. That simple black dress she wore at the intern mixer. The dress she wore when she met Derek at the bar.

She also saw his shoes. She looked up slowly, her gaze traveling up his body. She remembered that simple suit jacket and sweater combo he'd worn on the day he proposed. He was holding a potted lavender plant. The same Lou had offered her just this morning. Her gaze continued upward, and she was falling for him all over again.

"I miss you." She said. And then she couldn't stop herself. She pulled him down, her lips crashing on his, their tongues probing, pushing, tasting. The plant crashed at her feet, but she didn't care. She turned him and pushed him against the wall, pressing, wanting, needing. They didn't come up for air. At some point she unbuckled his belt. Clothing came off. Warm rough skin touched her cool smooth body.

He was in her.

They moved, slow. Passionate.

Two parts of the same whole, they moved in sync with each other.

They were connected. In love and hate. In pleasure and pain. Twisty. Shiny. Dark. Bright. They moved faster.

Familiar rhythmic movement became fresh and exciting all over again.

They came together. Finally collapsing to the floor, their bodies and hearts a euphoric mess.

Derek sat on the floor, leaning against the wall. She straddled him, body on body. Her hand on his chest, feeling it move up and down, as he caught his breath.

She didn't move for a long time.

"You're not alone," He said finally. "Out there. You're not alone." He brushed hair out of her face and stroked her cheek.

Meredith simply traced the thin white line on his chest.

He sighed and shifted under her until she was beside him. He stood up and offered his hand.

Meredith sighed petulantly, but took his hand.

When she stood up, she was wearing her scrubs and white coat. Derek too. The uniform of a healer. He held her hand and pressed a button on the panel.

The elevator moved and stopped.

Meredith turned to him, slightly panicked. "I'm not ready to for-"

"Shh." He said, placing a finger on her lips. "You'll get ready. Everything will go... the way it goes."

The elevator door opened, and lined against the hallway was all her friends, her family. Alex, Maggie, Richard, Callie, Bailey, Owen, Arizona, April, Jackson, and more, even Amelia. Amelia stepped forward, holding Ellis, and Zola and Bailey squealed upon seeing her in the elevator and dashed forward.

"Meredith," Derek said, "It's okay." He stepped forward, leading her to them. "You go, I'll be fine."

She stumbled forward, bending down to scoop up her children. As she picked up Zola she turned, but the doors were closing.

"Derek-"

"Meredith, I'll always be here, in your dreams."

A/N: Thanks Guys! Love you all. Epilogue is next. Thanks for all your votes and comments! Add this to your list!