Vivamus, Moriendum est (Rorschach x oc)

11. Severing the Tie

Walter's P.O.V.

I pulled my jacket off of the coat rack before flicking the light switch of the garment factory. Allowing the place to fall into darkness. I stepped out closing the door behind me, careful to lock the door.

On the stairwell I took the steps three at a time rushing to get outside. The sun was setting over the city. Not that it mattered. The tall buildings and the polluted smaug they emitted blocked out the sky. The sky was more impressive to look at. Prettier. Stars were seldom visible at night. Though if they were I doubted anyone would stop to admire them. Instead rushing about their fruitless ill spent fleeting lives.

Mary would stop. She'd admire the stars., I thought to myself. Though the statement was true I begged myself to shut up. I'd rather not think about her.

Weaving in and out of the people on the street, I flinched if any of them brushed against me. Half expecting them to lash out. Belittle and berate me for my mistake. 

Even harder were the thoughts that my mother might step out in front of me at any moment. I knew that was impossible. She died. She was gone. Still, I couldn't quell the thought.

Why did I care about her passing? I couldn't figure that out. Perhaps it was because I now left Mary and her mother Irene behind. The only people who'd ever given me a second glance. Who cared about me. I extended them the same favor. Them being the only people I held dear. And Jared Maddox as well. Though he had passed a few years back as well.

His passing had crushed Mary. I worried about her wondering if she'd ever recover. She did. I wasn't sure how she had. His passing had been different from that of my mother's. The world had lost something valuable. Something worth losing. Not with my mother. The scum that she was. No one would miss her. Just the same, no one would miss me.

Somehow knowing she was gone solidified just how alone I was. Knowing there was no one else out there. She was gone. I don't think she ever would have reached out to me. But I still wondered everyday if it would be the day she'd try. Her murder had relieved me of those wonders. They no longer plagued my mind. Making space for a newer more devasting pain.

I considered over the past three days going back to Mary. It had been the longest amount of time I'd spent away from her since I met her. Every time the thought entered my mind, I brushed it aside. I had burned my bridges there. They wouldn't want me back.

My apartment building came into view. A low rent dilapidated building. A far cry away from the Maddox penthouse. This was more of something from my childhood. It was also more than I deserved.

For the third night in a row, I made myself a sad little cheese sandwich. Lightly heated up in a pan. I had been trying in vain to get them to taste like Mrs. Maddox's cheese sandwiches. desperate to cling on to part of the past, a happier time. Mrs. Maddox had been a terrible cook. Mr. Maddox was the chef of the family. I remembered fondly how Mary used to bound into the kitchen after him, helping him to make dinner. Whilst Mrs. Maddox and I remained in the living room. Reading our respective literature.

After Mr. Maddox had gone, she had attempted to cook. Never really succeeding aside from making excellent grilled cheeses. Nothing special or spectacular. Just something I had been fond of and looked forward to. An effort made by a caring adult.

My cheese sandwiches had no such effect. I ate them in an uncontemplated silence. Alone. 

This would be my future. Alone. Always alone. 

Today was the day to call Mrs. Maddox. See what information she found on the skinflint I sought. It would also be my last contact with the Maddox family. All the better for them.