Vivamus, Moriendum est (Rorschach x oc)

19. A Bar Full of Lotus

So, this is directly after last chapter. Just for context it's like mid-August and the last chapter where Mary was with Irene was like May.

Mary's P.O.V.

He didn't move. He didn't blink. What was I waiting for? For him to laugh and say it was all a joke? That he'd ask me to wait a moment while he closed up the store and then we could run away together?

Somewhere underneath it all I knew how hopeless it all was. I just had to see him one last time. I had to be absolutely sure of where we stood. For this closure I paid the ultimate price.

Sucking in my pain I turned from him and walked out of the store. I wouldn't let him see me cry. Sure, I was going to bawl my eyes out in the next second, but he didn't have to know that. It's not that I should have known the result before it unfolded, it was that I should have admitted it to myself. But I just couldn't believe that all that time Walter had been biding his time, waiting until he could finally be rid of me.

By the time I reached the door of Garner's Garments my vision had become obscured by tears. I had started off down the street, but my foot got caught in a crack in the pavement. Stumbling, I allowed myself to hit the pavement. A stinging sensation went through my palms and my knees felt cut with pain. Deciding here was as good a place as any, I curled into myself only adjusting to not be in the center of the sidewalk.

Then, the floodgates opened like a broken damn. I sobbed. I sobbed for what I had lost, and I sobbed for the irony of my situation. Abandoned and bleeding on the sidewalk.

"Mary!"

Strangely it sounded as if multiple people shouted my name at once. That could not be good. The only person here that knew my name wanted nothing to do with me. Unless...

"Mary Maddox!"

I raised my head. Darn it. What's it take for a girl to lose all hope in peace? The men that Irene had hired to look for me had once again found me. She did this about a week after I ran. I had to hand it to the private investigators, they were quite adept at finding me. I should go back to Irene. But I wasn't ready to. Going back now would be admitting defeat. I lost. I would have to go to finishing school.

That should not have been my concern at the moment. But it was. Could I really be expected to act rationally at a time like this?

Getting to my feet took some trouble. I stumbled in my haste to jump up. Though once I was steady on my feet, I tore off down the street shoving through a sudden and absurd number of people on the sidewalk. Almost like there had been a sudden migration from the garment factory.

The impact of the pavement on my feet hurt. My shoes were wearing much too thin by this point. I kept going. My chest heaved and my breathing heavy. I kept going. I could not allow these men to catch me. I couldn't be wrong about this too. I'd have to admit defeat to Irene some time but today was not the day for that.

I crossed the street not paying attention to the oncoming traffic. Jumping the hood of a moving car is harder than it looks. The car barely stopped for me, only nudging into me. The driver, in New York fashion, cursed and swore. I ignored him and continued to cross. Once safely on the other side of the street I turned and ran the way the two private investigators had come from. I figured they wouldn't expect that. And just to be safe once a few good blocks away from the commotion I made a zigzag pattern for another few blocks.

That should put them off for another few days. Then I'd let them catch me and, in my shame, I'd go back to Irene. Admit I was wrong and go to finishing school I supposed.

By this point I had to be far enough away. Deciding to take a rest I sped into the next building available to me. Despite the full daylight outside the place was dark and hard to see in. It reeked of stale beer and cigarette smoke hung hazy in the air.