Hades |Complete|

Vingt cinq

Hades has been getting some attention recently and people are actually reading it. I'm nervous af. I hope you enjoy it? Idfk tbh.

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Alexander's POV:

So it has been a year without my firefly. I don't know how to feel about her deaths anniversary. I'd like to think I've excepted things and moved on, I really do want to fully believe it, but a small, and by small I mean big part of me still doesn't want to just process the fact that I have to move on and start living my life, the life I used to know before her.

I don't think I'd ever be able to move on, I can  find a new girl and pretend she's able of  filling the hole  Athena left in my heart when she died  but that would be a straight up lie.

I don't know, it's weird, life without her. I mean, I didn't know her for that long spend of time but she was capable of changing my life to the better.

The goddess of beauty and wisdom.

It had been a full year now and I still find it strange and bizarre how I can't just call her and hear her voice, how I can't just simply text her to meet up and eat doughnuts, how I won't be able to hear her complain about the people she meets on a daily basis are rude or how she can't find any motivation or inspiration to paint or draw anything, ever again.

I wish I spent more time with her, if I knew I only had this little time with her, I would've done so many things, differently.

I would've told her I loved her more, how much I loved her head scratches when I said i didn't really like them that much, how i loved when she was the big spoon, how she fixes my eyebrows from time to time and compliments how thick they are. I would've spent every second with her if only I knew how fast she'll be slipping out my fingers. I should've taken more pictures with her as well. Who knew those would be very much needed at times like these?

Today was my birthday, and her death anniversary. Not a good mix for someone like me who doesn't have his feelings figured out still.

"So um, I brought you Lilies, your favorites." I said the second I made it to her grave. Put the bouquet of flowers down on her grave which read beautifully Maria Athena Wilson. With a pigeon on the stone to represent innocence and pureness. Both qualities she definitely had regardless of the sexual jokes she used to make all the time and her dirty mind that caused her to say 'that's what she said' every two seconds.

"So... I don't fucking know how to do this. I miss you? I don't know. I mean, I do miss you Athena, like a lot but I don't know. I feel like I could've done things differently.. James keeps telling me that it wasn't my fault and that I should stop blaming and beating myself for something I couldn't control but I don't know. It just... doesn't feel right, to you know, let you go. I don't want to, you know?" I confessed but not before laughing lightly at how stupid I probably look right now.

"Talking to a dead person, it's funny isn't it? I'm not sure if you can ever hear me, it's not like you can respond anyways. I don't know, but this feels good, you know? Just talking to you again, even if you don't reply." I paused thinking for a second. "Coming to think about it, look how the tables have turned, you used to be the one doing all the talking in a conversation between me and you and I wouldn't talk that much, now look at me, doing all the talking. Funny isn't it?" I added getting yet again, no response.

"Sometimes I would wake up at night and hope all of this is just some bad long dream that doesn't seem to end anytime soon, you know? It's supposed to give me hope but it only crushes my hopes and dreams once I realize it's not."

Time passed as I talked about everything and anything. This is really therapeutic in a way. Free therapy, who knew.

"I'm pretty sure Elizabeth comes here every once in a while and she probably told you this but I feel like I have to tell you in case she didn't." I finally picked up on one subject to talk about. "I'm writing a book. Yes, I know. OH MY GOD HADES YOU ARE SO COOL. yes I know, I did start it but I'm not sure wether it's going to be successful or not, let's hope it will. Because I can't wait to drop out of law school. I'm not sure though, maybe I'll finish and get my law degree just in case and write now and then as a part time thing. If it works out the I start doing it full time and turn it into a full time job. If not, I can always be a lawyer. That's smart right?" I asked waiting for an answer like an idiot. "Oh right, you can't respond. No need to though, I know you're proud I'm doing what I'm passionate about. Or at least I hope so."