Yours to Hold (Louisiana Series #4)

Kabanata 24

24 - Nightmare

"Eun?"

I couldn't move even if I want to. Nanatili akong nakahiga sa kama nang makauwi sa mansiyon. I didn't say a word after Dane told me everything. Walang kahit anong pumapasok sa isip ko. It was blank and I couldn't think.

"Magsalita ka naman.. Nag-aalala na ako sa'yo."

Binitiwan niya ang tray na dala at umupo sa gilid ng kama. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. We went home at seven am and I haven't slept since. Pagod at nanghihina ang katawan ko ngunit hindi ko magawang matulog.

"It's your birthday today. You should be happy."

Hinimas ni Dane ang braso ko. Marahan akong umiling at nanatiling tahimik. I couldn't process his news. It feels like it's impossible. Nang kitain ako ng doktor kanina ay wala akong ibang itinanong sa kaniya tungkol dito.

Dane sighed and stood up when someone knocked at the door. Maliit niyang binuksan ang pinto at kinausap iyon bago ako binalikan. I haven't talked to dad and tito. They know the news.

"Your father is outside. He wants to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk." malamig kong sagot.

He nodded and went back to the door to tell that to my father. Mula sa labas ay narinig ko ang galit na boses ng aking ama ngunit hindi nagpatinang si Dane at ang gusto ko pa rin ang sinunod. Bumalik siya sa akin at muling inasikaso ang tray na mayroong pagkain. I opened my eyes and saw him smiled at me. Para bang inaalu niya ako sa ngiting iyon.

"Eun.." tawag niya. "Huwag ka namang ganito. Hindi ito makakabuti sa'yo, e. Kahit papaano ay kumain ka."

"Wala akong gana."

"Hindi puwedeng wala kang gana. Kagabi ka pa hindi kumakain.." kinuha niya ang baso. "Heto ang gatas. Ipinatimpla ko."

Maingat siyang umupo sa tabi ng kama ko upang huwag iyong matapon. I inhaled deeply and laid on my back. Natutok ang mga mata ko sa kisame habang nag-iinit ang gilid ng mga mata ko. My heart was throbbing and I feel so weak. My mind is too clouded to think of anything aside from his news.

"I'm pregnant.."

Bumagsak ang luha ko. I sniffed and didn't bother to wipe my tears away. I'm pregnant. A life is growing inside me. I am a little human's safe haven. Sunod-sunod ang pagtulo ng mga luha ko.

"Are we happy about this?" maingat niyang tanong. "About you being pregnant?"

I covered my face and cried harder when I heard from him that I am pregnant. Kahit na nanghihina ay pilit akong bumangon. Dane was teary eyed as he listened to me. He placed the glass on the side table to hold me.

"I don't know what to feel, Dane.." I admit. "I feel n-nervous and scared! I don't know what to do!"

"It's okay, calm down! Everything is going to be okay.. You're okay."

Umiling ako habang umiiyak. I am not okay. I am shocked and confused. I only did it once my whole life and now I am pregnant. I know it is possible to conceive after one intercourse but I didn't think it would happen to me!

"What if my b-baby cries and I don't know how to hush him? Paano kung hindi ako marunong magpaligo, Dane? P-paano kung sukahan niya ako?"

Dane looked like he was forcing himself not to laugh. He opened his arms to hug me. We don't usually do this but I need it right now. I buried my face on his chest and cried.

"Matagal pa naman iyon! You're just six weeks pregnant. You have months to prepare!"

Mahigpit kong hinawakan ang kaniyang damit. Alam kong nababasa na ang dibdib niya dahil sa luha ko. I just don't know how to express what I feel. I don't even know what I feel. Dane caressed my back gently and tried to hush me.