Yours to Hold (Louisiana Series #4)

Kabanata 28

28 - Nothing

"Eun.."

I sniffed and wiped my tears away. Tuluyan akong umatras palayo sa kanilang gate para umalis. I heard the door of the car slammed. Bumaling ako kay Dane nang may luha ang mga mata.

"I'm sorry but I got a call from Ysmael. Your father is in the ICU."

I felt like something tugged my heart. I ran to the car as Dane drove fast to go back to the house. Labag man sa loob ay pati ang mga damit na naiwan sa kuwarto ko ay kasama na sa iuuwi ko pabalik ng Louisiana. Mabilis ang bawat kilos ni Ysmael habang inilalagay ang mga gamit sa kotse. He was also contacting the pilot for the private plane. We need to get home fast.

"Come on, Malt. We're going home."

My dog barked as he enters the car. Tiningala ko ang bahay namin at bumuntong-hininga bago pumasok ng kotse para bumalik na ng Louisiana. I didn't bother asking Ysmael about my father's condition. Pinilit kong ikalma ang sarili ko. Hanggang sa makarating sa airport ay nagwawala ang puso ko.

I was silent the whole ride. Mabilis kaming nakabalik ng Louisiana ngunit sa parehong hospital kami dumiretso. Daddy was in the ICU. Ang sabi ng doktor ay lalo lamang lumalala ang kondisyon niya. They don't know if he's going to wake up, but they are doing everything they can to keep him using the machines.

Pakiramdam ko ay wala ako sarili habang naroon. My heart felt numb. I don't know how to react and how to feel. Hindi ko malaman ang dapat gawin. I didn't leave the hospital even if I couldn't go near my father. Mula sa salamin ay doon ko lamang siya puwedeng makita at silipin.

Calum needs me. My father needs me. The plantation and the businesses need me. My baby needs me, too. Hindi ko malaman kung anong uunahin at alin ang unang aasikasuhin. I kept on feeling cramps and I don't feel good. I am overthinking and I am tired.

"Can you text Malia? Ask how Calum is."

"Hindi ba't mas mabuting wala ka na lamang alam? Masyado ka nang maraming dinadala, Eun. Hindi na tama."

Nanatili akong nakasilip mula sa salamin. My father is getting too thin and weak. I know what it means. Bumuntong-hininga ako at humigpit ang hawak sa scarf. Calum needs me but my father needs me, too.

"They're going to take care of Calum, that's for sure. Sa ngayon, ikaw, ang baby mo, at ang dad mo muna ang alagaan mo.." ani Dane. "Remember that you still have to figure out how to manage everything he gave you."

Marahan akong tumango dahil tama siya. And I am so tired. I am drained. Humawak ako kay Dane at sumandal sa kaniya. Thank God he's here.

Dad woke up after four days, but he didn't know I was here. The doctors know what will happen and they told us that. Nang hilingin ng ama kong umuwi ay pinayagan na sa huling pagkakataon. Masakit man sa akin ay kailangan kong tanggapin. He's suffering.

"I'm home.." I whispered.

He looked frail as he opened his eyes. Ngumiti ako habang ang scarf na galing kay Calum ay nakabalot sa akin. He was laying down on his bed, waiting for his time. Dad accepted it, and we all know it's going to happen soon.

"W-where have you been, my Ysabella?" napapaos niyang tanong.

"Manila.."

"What did you do there?"

I inhaled deeply and tried to look at him like he's not going to leave me soon. Pinigil ko ang luha ko at nakipag-usap na parang hindi nasasaktan. My heart is breaking everytime I look at him.

"I chased a man. I told him everything about us but he doesn't have any clue because he doesn't remember.." I answered. "I'm forgotten, dad."

Dad seemed like he was sleepy. Malalim ang bawat pahinga niya, tila ba tinitipon ang lahat ng lakas upang makapanatili kahit na sandali. Inilahad niya ang kamay niyang nanghihina. Agad ko iyong hinawakan.