Chapter Eight - Miss, Please Don't Drown On The Bowl
I don't understand why he said that.
I'm confused and conflicted with how I should react to it. Should I be happy he complimented me? Or should I take it as an insult? I don't know what to do.
I don't even know how I should face him after this.
I grunted as I marched onto the hallways with my backpack slung around my shoulder. I decided to lay low towards the restroom since Tom wouldn't possibly enter the girl's bathroom and just going back to the classroom would make things awkward between us.
I closed the cubicle door and sat down on the toilet seat cover, clutching onto my bag as I sat there like a stupid idiot, hearing the closing of cubicles, the shadows of feet passing by and the running water by the sink.
I fished for my phone and unlocked it to see the time; 12:40. I still had 20 minutes left before I would return back to the classroom. I might as well scroll some posts from Reddit while I sat here all alone.
Being here reminds me of the old days. It wasn't good memories, but I could never forget it. I sunk bottom and lost all confidence I had for myself. I didn't belong anywhere and I always sat inside the cubicle, eating my lunch with tear-stricken eyes as I wished for a better tomorrow.
Somehow that never happened. I continued eating my lunch here whilst scrolling my phone, silently laughing as I watch the memes on my feed.
Eventually, I got used to the silence, the isolation.
Being alone won't make you a burden. No one would bat an eye if you're gone let alone if you died.
You didn't need to meet their expectations and they didn't have anything on you.
Until I found that the school's garden was vacant. It seems that no one has bothered and found such a beautiful spot with flowers around you; fresh breeze and the right amount of sunlight. And so I started eating there, my own spot; my haven.
I snap out of my own flashbacks when I hear a sob from the other stall. It wasn't my business and I didn't want to barge in because it wasn't my problem. Sometimes people need to deal with their own problems.
Then the sobs gradually got louder and eventually it led to the person coughing and sniffing hard. I supposedly didn't want to care, but deep inside me I worried.
What if she's choking? What if she decided to kill herself or try to choke herself? Thoughts like that weighted my conscience, up to the point I couldn't take the guilt anymore.
I may be rude and cold, but I was still human. I still had the feelings of empathy deep inside me. And so I did what any person would do.
I opened my cubicle door, glancing around as I try to find the source of the sobs. Then my feet carried me to the stall where the crying resonated from. I reluctantly knocked on the door.
"A-are you alright?" I murmured.
The person doesn't answer but just keeps on crying. I sigh, trying once more. "Do you need help?"
Then silence suddenly lingered upon us. I was sweating by now, thinking if she'd drown herself with the toilet water or managed to successfully do something she might regret.
I knocked on the door, more in haste as my voice grew hoarse. "Hey! Can you hear me?!"
There were times when I thought of ending my life. I had no purpose, just a trash idling around. But I remembered my mother and my father who tried their best to cheer me up. What would happen to them if I was gone? Wouldn't I just become more of a burden if I suddenly leave them?
