Barrister Babu fanfiction awards 2022
A fanfiction award for all the anidita lovers.
Are you a budding writer who want to be a part of contest or a reader who wan to judge + you are associated with barrister babu fandom hence you came to right plac...
Book: Petals of Love ~ Anidita OS Series Author: Meghan _meghaaa Judge: Preeti Preeti_19_
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
TOTAL: 66.5/100
The book "Petals of Love ~ Anidita OS Series" has its good and bad sides. So, this is an honest review of the book according to my observation🙂🙂.
Dear Megha, this is the review of your book :-
~~ PLEASE NOTE : I had written this review yesterday itself. So, the OS chapter which you uploaded today isn't included in this.
🌟 REVIEW :-
☆ Introduction -
1) The first thing is the Title. Here, I've to say that I didn't find your title relevant to your story. Title is "Petals of Love", but there's something else in the story. You could've tried a better one. Also, you've written "Anidita OS Series" in the title, but your story contains TS too! So, you should've written "Anidita OS/TS series" in the title.
2) Next is the Subtitle. The subtitle is "Fitoor tere ishq ka" which gives romantic vibes. But there's nothing like that in your story. So, your subtitle doesn't seem to be relevant.
3) Then Cover. I really liked your cover. It's very beautiful; still, it could've been a little more beautiful.
4) The Blurb of your story isn't pertinent to the story. A blurb is a short description of any story; so you should've written an interesting and suitable blurb according to your story. I know it's not easy to write a nice blurb for OS/TS series; but, you could've added a few lines from the story in your blurb.
☆ Story -
First of all, your plot is very similar to the original show Barrister Babu. I hardly found any new things in the story. So, your story is really lacking in originality. And you need to improve your grammar sis, because there are many grammatical and spelling mistakes in your story.
Your descriptions are good, but you can make them much better by describing the scenes in a few more lines. You can write very beautifully dear, you just need to imagine the scenes and express your ideas into words; then it will create an imagery in the reader's mind.
Your language and style of writing also needs a bit improvement. Because sometimes, the misspelled Hindi words which are used in the story convey a wrong meaning. I've mentioned this further.
Most importantly, I feel that you're lacking in expressing the emotions of characters. One tip I want to give. Whenever you're depicting the emotions of any character, keep yourself in his/her place; then you'll be able to portray their emotions in a better way.
• OS ~ Her Rakshak :
1) In this OS, everything is completely same to original show except the ending. Not only the story, the characters and even their dialogues are exactly same! The reader loses his/her interest when the story is exactly same like original show. So, you should've added new plots with new twists. But, as it was your first OS, so I can understand that it might be difficult for you.
2) The ending seems quite unreal. I mean how can the people of Heeramandi leave Bondita by capturing Anirudh? Bondita is more important for them, as she's a girl; so they can never leave her at any cost. They can neither leave the other girls of Heeramandi. So, the ending is weird.
3) In the 4th last para, you've written "Those man beated him..." But the correct sentence will be "Those menbeat him..."
4) The RTM which you've written, there are some mistakes in that too. It will be "Ek daag na lagne paaye" instead of "Ek aanch na lagne paaye". And, there are many other spelling mistakes or typos.
• TS ~ Pyaar mera tu :
1) This story is also quite similar to the original show. Almost all the dialogues are same, which makes the story unintriguing.
2) The character of Anirudh seems strange. His character isn't like that. Anirudh can never confess his love to little Bondita. After annulling his marriage with Bondita, he can never consider her as his wife(Patni). Trilochan's character is also quite confusing. How can he love Kallindi? If he would've loved her, then he wouldn't have left her on her own. So, I think these little things should've been made clear.
3) As I had mentioned earlier, some misspelled Hindi words convey incorrect meaning. Like you've written "vyatha", but it will be "byahta" or "vyahta" which means married. And, the word "vyatha" means agony; so it conveys wrong meaning. Similarly, you've written "grahna"; but correct word will be "ghrina".
4) There's no word like "cutted". The 2nd and 3rd forms of the verb "cut" are "cut" only.
5) I feel that Anirudh's disguise of Radhamani Das was unnecessary. Because, his identity was disclosed the moment he was shown disguised. So, I don't think it was needed. And if you really wanted to include such a character, then you shouldn't have disclosed Anirudh's identity so soon.
6) The story's pace was too fast. Its ending was also very rushed. How all the misunderstandings of Bondita got cleared in a second??? It was really abrupt.
7) In the end, when AniDita go to London; you haven't written that Bondita became a barrister. But you've written "Both the Barristers were with each other in every aspect of life". First, you should've mentioned that Bondita became a barrister, then only the last sentence makes sense.
¤ A very important point to note :-
There are many spelling and grammatical errors in your story. I'm pointing out a few of them. Hope this will help you in your further writings.
1) The main error is, you've written many words starting with capital letter unnecessarily. It lessens the enjoyment in the story, so I suggest you to start words with capital letters only when needed.
2) You've used the third form of verb with do/does/did at many places. But sis, only the first form of verb is used there.
3) There are many misspells in both Hindi and English words which need to be edited.
4) At one place, I cracked up seeing "Dad Baadi" instead of "Das Baadi".🤭
5) You've used "there" instead of "their". And it will be "gasped", not "grasped".
6) Proper nouns must always start with capital letter which is lacking in your story.
7) Commas and other punctuation marks are missing in many of your sentences.
☆ Conclusion -
Dear sis, I feel that you've a lot of potential and a good imagination power. But, you need to write a different plot from the original show, so that your story will be more enjoyable and interesting to read. Then you just need to focus on the spellings and grammar; and your story will be splendid! All the best for your future writings👍!!
Sis, this was my very honest review. Please don't feel bad. It's good to rectify our mistakes, you know right?
As I'm very new to judging; so, please forgive me for any mistakes🙃🙃.
