Layla

the first day

Here I am sitting on my bed . Snuggled deeply into my pillows watching tiktok's. All of them seem to go about deans birthday. One of the videos made me tear up as it said : happy birthday Dean winchester , your not gone , jensen has you. I remember clearly watching the series on TV.  They helped me fight of the big deamons inside my head . It made me stronger . And yes Dean was and still is my comfort character. In many ways looking at Dean is like looking into a mirror . I don't particularly like It but it's useful and healing , and if he can do it so can i !

I like a few pages , scroll true a few uninteresting video's and then close the app and open Instagram.  Jared and jen posted a picture , a hilarious one, as always . A few other famous people posted as wel so I take a quick look at that before closing the app. I stare out in front of me feeling rather sad. I feel alone and seek refuges in social media . Not in a way that I post or seek attention. I just use it too have some kind of social interaction without interacting.

I open twitter and like a few of misha his food related posts before closing that app as well. Somehow today social media can't satisfy my hunger for human contact. With a groan I get out of bed and put on the first clothes i see laying on the famous , used but not dirty , pile on the corner chair. With a swift movement I put my unbrushed  hair into a pony tail.

My reflexion in the mirror seems to shout depression as it looks back at me . I look like I haven't slept in days , like I haven't been watching my weight , my eyes are rather dull and lifeless.y hair is,  even I the pony tail,  an u kept mess and I have big baas under my eyes.  With a sign I swing the mirror the other way so it's facing the wall. "I should take better care of myself " I mutter to no one in particular. I check my phone again hoping for some sort of notification but stuff it in my pocket as the only notification is that I have to update it .

Knowing I should take better care of myself , but probably won't , I go downstairs . I open the fridge a couple times but decide not to eat anything as I get a view of my chubby tummy. I slap it not too gentle " fatty ". Without anything else to do I sit down at the table and start scrolling true social media again. 

An hour or two later I finally have enough of answering and fooling scam accounts who are texting me and decide to go take a bath. My start of taking more care of myself. Some motivational tiktok I saw earlier had my depressed brain working. With quick steps I go back upstairs into the bathroom and lay out some self care products . A face mask , hair mask , shaving cream , Bath salt and Bath foam and of course a few candles and a glas of whiskey.

I let the hot water fill the bathtub before going in. The heat relaxes all my muscles as I lay back. I place a towel dipped in the hot water over my shoulders to help those relax too. Let me tell you . Since I discovered that... my life has changed ...a bit . I take a sip of the whiskey and grab my phone in the process. With nothing much to do while I am enjoying the bathtub I go back to tiktok. I like a few funny videos about horses before a notification interrupts my video I was watching.  Jenack added you as a friend. Hm OK?

I go to the page to see a picture of Dean as a cover. No video's posted so far and only 3 friends. Probably a scam again. So I friendship the person back. Nothing more amusing then scamming the scammers. I go back to watching the video I was watching and by the second tiktok I get the notification that jenack has send me a message. A smile already plays at my lips as I go to messages.

Jenack : hi there , my name is jensen ackles. I have chosen you personally along with 10 other people to get to know better. As a way of returning what fans did for us.

Layla: wow nice of you. But I bet there are millions of others just waiting for your texts.... people who will actually believe you.

I am a very nice person really but I find it just rude that people use this kind of scams. I go back to watching some videos waiting for a reply. When suddenly I get one . That was fast , usually they don't answer so fast.

Jenack: I'm not kidding , I actually am jensen ackles. I get that a lot of people try to scam with that but this is no scam. If you give me your whattsapp I will prove it too you.

Without answering I close the conversation and go back to watching tiktoks . They used this before ; the entire whattsapp deal. I dont get what they can do with it just yet but oh wel . I open the messages part again .

Layla: how about a compromise you add me on messenger proof your jensen and then I might add you on whattsapp .

Jenack: sure give me the details . I'll prove that I'm the real deal.

I give him the needed details to add me on Facebook and sit back and wait . This is going to be funny.