Layla

leaving

The sound of my alarm clock wakes me up. I roll over just to find an empty space besides me. I open my eyes to see indeed the space next to me and the pillow still fluffed up. I try to remember what exactly went on yesterday evening in the club but come up empty. While cursing at myself from accepting so many drinks from the group I get dressed. Maybe he woke up earlier and is in the kitchen as every other day when he is not sleeping next to me. Content with my jeans and shirt I quickly put my hair in a un brushed pony tail and rush downstairs. When I reach the kitchen it's empty. I frown at the empty room before turning on my heels and walking back upstairs. Instead of walking towards my room I turn to jensens room.

I even haven't seen it since I stayed here, I note while I raise my hand to knock on the door. I knock twice and wait a few counts before opening the door. His room is surprisingly tidy with only some clothes in the corner. His king size bed is in the middle of the room. Jensen is sleeping in the middle of the bed holding a pillow. I take some time to aww at him and take In the view before I slowly walk to the bed. Every bad case scenario passes in my brain and by the time I reach the bed I am close to a panic attack. Carefully I put my hand on his arm and gently shake it " jensen ? " I whisper looking down on his sleeping form. He stirs a bit " your up early " he groans rubbing his face. I straighten back up. " sorry " I say softly. " cmere " he says petting the space next to him. I scoot in the bed but stay seated not sure how to handle whatever this situation is. Jensen groans in annoyance and pulls me down next to him " just a few more minutes " he mumbles as he holds me close.

Even doh he hasn't been sleeping in his bed for close to two weeks it's completely smells like him. I snuggle close to his shirtless !! Chest. " you sleep well ? " he asks still half a sleep. " yea , although I did not enjoy the wake up part " I say against his chest. For a few seconds he tightens his grip " sorry,  I just wanted to make sure you slept and not well slept " he says rolling back on his back. I lean up om my arm " what ?" I ask confused. He rubs his face and groans " you were pretty hammered and not exactly shy " he says with his hand on his face. I curse at myself in my head. " I'm sorry " I mumble embarrassed.  I never let myself get that drunk. It must've been the drinks creeping up on me.

He removes his hand and looks at me. With soft moves he strokes my cheek. " you have nothing to be sorry about " he almost whispers. I give a small smile as I lean into his touch. " we should get up and ready don't we ?" He sighs heavily. I nod my head and place a kiss on his palm. i slowly and very reluctantly get out of the bed. jensen follows soon after. none of us are looking forward to this but there is no other way. i cant just put my life on hold to stay here and neither can he. " i'm going to go downstairs already " i announce as he starts looking into a drawer of his commode. he hums something i couldn't understand as i walk out and close the door behind me. once i am downstairs i sit on the couch and go over everything that has happened the past days. i had a really good time and am sad it has come to an end. i dont know how things will work out but i sure hope they somehow do. 

i hear jensen walk down the stairs so i get up to meet him . as soon as he comes into view i notice he is looking grim , without thinking i walk up to him and wrap my arms around him. inhaling deeply so i can print his scent into my memory. one tear escapes my eye before i can get a hold on myself. carefully he lifts my chin with one finger "this isn't goodbye , i promise " he says looking into my eyes. i can feel the tears build up inside of me so i turn my head so i can look away. jensen wraps his arms around me and hugs me tight for a second before announcing we really need to get going. reluctantly i let him go and go to grab my bag , when we walk towards the front door i take one good look inside the house before actually walking inside feeling some sort of bitter sweet taste in my mouth. without a word we get into the car , not baby sadly , and start the drive towards the airport. all the way there not a word is said , i honestly don't know what to say. somehow i don't think jensen knows either. basically we are boyfriend girlfriend right ? but i am going home , he is going to sets all over the place and i know he will be so damn busy. a fear sets in my tummy and i look at jensen driving. tears start to fill my eyes again. without looking away from the road jensen mutters " please don't cry " i see tears from in his eyes as well when i take a better look at him. i grab his free hand and give it a little kiss on the knuckles " sorry " i whisper. " i was never good at goodbye's " . he rubs his thumb over my hand " its not a goodbye its a see you later " he softly chuckles. i try to blink away the tears but im afraid i only managed to push them back for a little while.