After the Storm- JJ Maybank (Outer Banks)

33.

"I can go." John B awkwardly stood up, pointing to the window.

"You don't have to go." I grabbed his hand.

"I'd actually prefer if you did." JJ finally opened his mouth, he seemed a little frustrated.

I dropped his hand, watching him walk towards the window.

"Okay. No problem. I'll see you tomorrow?" John B looked to me before opening the window and stepping out.

I nodded and gave him a small smile as the window shut and John B disappeared from the roof. I looked back up to JJ, crossing my legs on my bed. I clutched my pillow against my chest.

"So, my dad caught you trying to sneak in, huh? About time you got caught." I tried laying down a few jokes, nothing.

"Rachel, this isn't funny. I came here to have a serious talk with you."

"Okay. Do you want to sit?" I patted the bed.

"Yeah." He sat down at the edge of the bed, facing me. The look on his face was serious. I had really never seen him this way before.

"Why'd you try to sneak in? You could've just called me or something."

"I couldn't sleep. I went on a walk, like we used to do in the middle of the night. I've just been thinking."

"Thinking about what?"

"Thinking about us."

I couldn't tell what was about to happen. It seemed almost off.

"What about us?"

"We can't be in a relationship if we aren't 100 honest with each other, Rachel. I know I haven't been exactly the best boyfriend in the world, but I've been honest."

"What do you want to know, J? I'll tell you anything."

"When Rafe kidnapped you and tortured you, did you even try to get away?"

I thought to myself. I really wanted to get away, I really did but there was always a part of me pulling towards him. I knew it was messed up, I didn't
understand why. Maybe I got some of my mothers "crazy" genes.

"What do you mean? Of course I did. He kept me
locked up and told me he'd kill me and all of you if I did escape. And look, he almost killed me again the other day. He was making sure to keep his promise."

"Topper told Sarah what you were saying to him, before he pushed you under."

"Yeah I did, how does that make you feel?"

"You're still mine, my dirty fucking slut."

"I don't belong to you, I belong to him."

"Does he make you come? Like the way I do?"

"So what if he does?"

"He's lying, JJ. I have no idea what you're talking about." I swallowed, hard.

"You're fucking crazy. You're really fucking crazy. Just like your mom. You wanted to be manhandled. You probably got off on it or something. You're disgusting. What the fuck is wrong with you?" He got
up from the bed and moved closer to the window. He was hiding his face in his hands.

"JJ. please. Listen to me. I'm sorry, okay? I don't know what's happened to me."

"You don't know what's happened to you? You let him brainwash you for the entire summer! You let him."

"I didn't let him! I really tried! I really did."

"Did you like it?"

"Like what?"

"Him doing those things to you?"

"JJ, no. I didn't. I swear. Please let me explain."

"You lied to me. Am I not good enough?"

"I did. I did. I was really trying to hide everything. I couldn't sleep, I had nightmares. You know that. I guess something sort of clicked in my head after I came back to normal life. It's like all I knew was torture and being in fear for my life. I finally was able to be okay and not have to hide anymore. He drugged me, he constantly harassed me, assaulted me. I am messed up, JJ. I am. There's nothing wrong with you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I think that I need to go to therapy, figure out what's going on in my head. Because you're right, I am messed up and the things I said to him were messed up. I guess I sort of got a rush when I went back into that mindset again."

"Don't you want him to stop torturing us, especially you? You can't just egg him on and let him keep doing things to you. That's toxic, Rachel. You don't need that, you need to get better. I'm sorry. I wish I could help you, but I can't even manage my own shit. You need help, serious help. I will do everything in my power to make sure of it. But, we can't be together anymore."

I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces, falling on the ground in front of me. I began to choke on the tears that were already flowing down my face. He stood in the window, just watching me break down . There were no sounds coming from my mouth, no breathes. I couldn't breathe.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I want you to get better and I don't want to be in the way of that. I can't. You're gonna get all the help you need, I promise. I will always love you, and I'm waiting for you. Okay? Please don't call me, don't contact me. I don't want to cause any interference with anything. You'll be okay."

"JJ, please. I love you. Please don't go."

"I'll see you soon, cupcake." He exits the window, shutting it behind him.

I watch as he jumps down from the roof and I hear him slowly walk down the gravel road towards John B's. What was I going to do? They were the only friend group I had, and now I wasn't going to see them again. I tried squeezing my eyes shut, hoping this all was just some awful dream. But, I kept opening my eyes back up to the same world. I was living in my own nightmare.

A/N: ayo. i know this story is wack. i wanted it to be more dark but i definitely think this is a good idea, maybe.... i don't really know where it's going but it's going. let me know what you wanna see in this story!! probably only a few chapters left!!