Stepping into the light

A crack in my heart

This is a hard chapter to write be ready for a bit of heartbreak.
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The convoy of cars makes it way down the long drive taking us away from our home,  I look down to find Lou snuggle up against my side with his eyes close and Clifford laying on top of him, feeling safe , I can't help but feel A smile turn the corners of my mouth up, Clifford lifts his head and looks at me, my hands run over his soft fur on his head, Clifford is such a sweet and loving dog, he would protect Lou with his life, they have such a special bond.
" You are such a good boy looking after him" I say as his tongue flicks out and licks my hand.
It's a steady drive as we move through the early hours of the morning, the roads are deserted as we speed along.
Ahead I see a car slowing down in front of our convoy, then suddenly our cars are slowing down as well, I start to get a very funny feeling in the pit of my stomach, before I can even voice my concern, I hear a massive bang as the car in front explodes into flames, before I can react the side of our car in hit with so much force it sends our car spinning off in a different direction.
I feel my body slam against the chair in the front, as I try to reach for Lou, I stretch out my arm , before I get a chance to grab him the car is hit with another force this time crushing the front of the car into the back, I feel a blunt force hit me with so much force that My head gets thrown back then forward again, my ears are ringing , my vision is blurred, all I am thinking in my brain is " get to Lou, get to Lou" I try to make my arms and head move in his direction but I can't, my body won't do what my mind is telling it to do.
I heard voices at the side of me were I know Lou is , I hear Clifford parking and growling
" Grab the boy" I hear someone say.
" You grab the boy, I am not going near that bloody dog" someone else said.
I slowly with all my might will my head to turn, I can see Lou's body crumbled on the floor of the car with Clifford standing over his body, god he looked so scary with his sharp teeth exposed.
" Shot the dog"I hear next .
I am silently screaming inside , forcing my body to respond but it won't, I feel what feels like blood trickling down the side of my face, and I suddenly feel like my head is exploding, as pain shoots up my neck into my head, I feel myself fading into blackness.
I fight as hard as I can when I realise that Clifford's barking has ceased , I look out the corner of my eye to see Lou's body being dragged from the car with Clifford laying lifeless on the ground, in my head I am screaming and screaming, I feel the blackness roll across my body, I know I can't do anything , I am helpless, I am breaking inside, as I feel it over come me.
The next time I wake I can hear loud noise all around me , light flashing, people yelling, hands touch me
" Mr Styles, We need you to stop moving , your ok we are getting you out of the car" I hear metal being ripped from metal, I smell burning smoke around us , I am desperately trying to get words out of my mouth, I finally see a face in front of me which I know. Detective Riley is standing at my side.
" Mr Styles , I am so sorry this has happened".
" Lou" I finally get the words to form in my brain and leave my mouth.
"He is gone, I am so sorry Mr Styles , we were ambushed it looks like it was well planned".
I suddenly hear a bark from the side of the road, I can't turn my head but I can tell that bark anywhere.
" Clifford?" I ask.
" Yes he is ok, he looks like he has been hit on the head but he is up and around".
" Look after him Lou will be devastated if anything happened to him" I feel the tears well up in my eyes as they over flow down my face at the thought of Lou.
" Lou?"I say again.
" I am doing absolutely everything in my power to find him".
" All right we are ready to lift him out " I hear at my side as I fill air and space all around me , I feel my body being rolled onto a stretcher then I am moving forward into the back of the waiting ambulance .
Lou is all I am thinking about , as I hear and feel things going on all around I take no notice, I feel my body getting light again as I slip away .

Lights hit my eyes as I slowly open them, I try to pull my hands up to cover my eyes but find I can't move them, I hear alarms going of near my head as I hear my mum at my side.
" Sweetheart your ok, You are in the hospital".
" Mum" I moan from my lips.
I hear the alarms stop ringing in my ears ,as A nurse steps in front of me.
" Mr Styles nice to see you awake, try to stay still, you have some serious injuries and this will cause you to be in some pain" I move my eyes to meet the nurses.
" You have a concussion from a bad head wound which required stitching ten in total , you have 3 broken rips, a fractured to your arm,your leg which took the blunt  force form the car and you have many cuts with numerous amount of stitches, you will fully recover but you will be in here for awhile".
I feel my mum at my side as turn and look at her eyes.
" Lou" I ask , she shakes her head at me as I break into sobs, I feel my mums arms wrap around me, I Can't believe this is happening again, I can't believe that I have had him ripped from my life and arms again, life is so cruel to do this , to make us both suffer like this again.
I hear a knock on the door as I hear voices talking over my head.
" Mr Styles" I hear my name being called from a familiar voice I turn to find detective Riley standing in the room, I lift my hands to wipe the tears from my eyes.
" Any news?" I ask as my voice breaks with heartbreak.
" We are doing everything we can to find him Mr Styles,  but we do have one lead, it has come to our attention that a fan name Jenny has been putting a lot of posts on social media about being with you, that you are going to be hers, on investing this a bit more we have found footage of her at one of your concert, she was holding a sign saying it was her birthday and when you asked her if it was today she no, that it wasn't her birthday , you made a joke about it to her , but when we looked further into her , she has been at over half off your concerts , always in the front row" I am handed A photo of a very familiar face.
"Yes , I remember her, she does come to a lot of my concerts, she is always in the front row".
" At the moment she is our main suspect, she has access to a lot of money from a trust fund, money buys a lot these days Mr Styles".
" What does this mean?".
" We are monitoring her every move at the moment,  we have eyes and ears on her at all times, we know she doesn't have Lou with her but we do think she has paid someone to hold him".
" I can't believe a fan would do something like this" I say in disbelief.
" She is delusional and believes that you belong to her, it seems she really believes This , she is very extreme, we have read a lot of hate mail on social media, a lot of your fans have been very abusive towards her and now she has something to prove, we are hoping she will slip up soon and we will be able to track her to find Lou".
I turn to my mum.
" Sweetheart this is good thing, we have a lead" she said taking my hand in hers.
" I will keep you update on any news we have, I will call you personally" Detective Riley saids as he turns and heads from the room.
I hear another knock and put my head up to find Liam and Niall standing in the door way.
" Mate , we really have to stop meeting like this, I am loving what these lights do for your complexion". Niall said cracking a joke.
Liam walks straight to my side and leans down giving me a gentle hug.
" Any news yet?" I hear him ask.
" They do have a lead, seems one of my fans is in love with me a little bit to much and has been flaunting it all over social media".
I see Liam give Niall a look.
"What?, what do you know?".
" We have seen some of her posts and your fans especially the Larry fans have been giving her absolutely hell, I see how she would have a lot to prove, your fans are vicious man".
" Your fans are very territorial" Niall adds.
" I forgot to say, I have Clifford at my house , bear is helping me look after him".
I let out a sigh of relief.
" Thank you so much guys , you should have seen how he protected Lou when the guys tried to take him out of the car, he wasn't letting anyone get near him".
"Go Clifford" Niall yells fist pumping the air.
The boys hang around until visiting hours are over  trying to offer me comfort.
" We will see you tomorrow Mate"  They say as they head out the door.
My mum has been sitting quietly by my her self , I roll on my side facing her and let the tears start to fall again, I have been trying to be so brave but I can't hold it in any longer, soon sob shake my body as I feel mums arms wrap around me.
" It's ok sweetheart, everything will be alright".
" You can't say that, we don't know were Louis  is or what is happening to him, You should had seen how scared he was at the house when the alarm went off and everything was going on around us, he was saying over and over again " don't let them take me again" and that's exactly what's happened, they took him again, mum, I didn't protect him".
" Sweetheart it's not your fault, you were surrounded by police officers and they couldn't protect him".
" But it's my job to protect him mum, that my job, and I failed him he is my whole world I can't live without him, I just can't, my heart feels like it has a crack in it that only Lou can mend".
" Let's hope we hear some news soon".
" Look what they did to him last time, who's knows what he is suffering at their hands, who knows who has him and what they are doing to him".
" Try to get some rest sweetheart, your body needs to heal".
" I can't , ever time I close my eyes, I see his body laying crumbled on the floor of the car, I watched as his body was dragged away from me" I yell not caring who hears me.
I look up as the nurse walks in.
" Is everything ok Mr Styles?,  how is your pain?".
" It's fine" I hear myself say which is not true, the pain in my body is so extreme, everything in my body hurts and aches that it is so hard to think, but I deserve to suffer, I need this pain, If Lou is in Suffering , then so will I.
" I fine that hard to believe with your injuries Mr Styles".
" Sweetheart, don't let your self  suffer this way , Lou wouldn't want that".
"I am going to give you some pain meds, to help settle you , you need to rest and let yourself heal so you can be here for Lou when he comes back to you" the nurse moves around my bed and putting the pain relief into the IV in my arm.
I feel the effects quite quickly and I feel my body begin to relax , the pain creeps away as sleep over takes me, I can feel my mum by my side slowly stroking my forehead, but my mind still only holds vision of Lou.