A/n- Credit goes to @jokersmulti for the Bud and Lou personality headcannons, thank for helping <3
In an abandoned theatre in Gotham in a makeshift kitchen, Harley Quinn was preparing dinner for her hyenas, Bud and Lou. Bud was incessantly jumping and nipping at Harley's heels, begging for food, while Lou was attempting to steal the food from the counter without Harley noticing, which she did, every time.
"Hey- HEY- easy, babies! Your food's almost done- LOU GET OFFA THE COUNTER-" Harley brandished a slightly bent spoon at the hyena with both front paws at the counter, "You can wait for your food!"
Lou slowly backed away from the counter, both paws landing on the ground as he walked over to beside Bud, ashamed.
She lifted the plates of raw meat above her head and out of reach of the hyenas, then placed them on the floor, "There you go! Eat up sweeties! I know you're so hungry!" She leant down slightly, her hands on her knees and smiling widely.
The hyenas set upon their dinner with a high pitched shriek, bits of meat and fat flying in every direction. After a few seconds of eating from their own bowls and simultaneously switching platters.
Harley straightened up, stretching her arms above her head, "Oh-kay! Time to feed Mista J's fish! I wonder where his food is..." She started opening cabinets, straining on her tip toes to reach the higher shelves in search of the fish food.
From inside his bowl, the cracks from yesterday newly patched with some hello kitty bandaids, Finny regarded the two hyenas with interest, and a great amount of malice. He was interrupted from his thoughts by Harley accidentally spilling almost half of the fish food into the bowl.
"Oops-! Sorry about that, Finny!" She smiled apologetically and scooped the extra food out of the bowl, "Now, I have places to be, so you two behave! I don't want any messes for when me and puddin' get back. Bye-bye!" She waved energetically at them before throwing the apron onto a hook and running out of the theatre.
Upon seeing that Harley had left, the fish turned its attention back to Bud and Lou, ignoring the flakes of dinner sinking to the bottom of the bowl around him. Despite having a limited consciousness and the memory of a, well, goldfish, Finny felt an indescribable rage towards the two hyenas. Swimming in circles that grew gradually more tight and fast, the fish began gulping in water. In a singular moment, he kept above the water and shot a jet of water into the eye of Lou, who yelped and jumped back in surprise, knocking against Bud who snarled and tumbled over.
Bubbling to himself with pride and satisfaction, the fish decided to treat itself to the now soggy food at the bottom of the bowl, congratulating himself on the feat he had preformed without getting caught.
Lou, possessing the fragment of common sense between the two of them, at once set upon trying to leap at the bowl to knock it down. The indignation he felt from being humiliated by a fish was burning inside him, and he was not going to rest until he could taste that obnoxious animal.
Bud, having an even faultier memory than the fish, was now staring blankly at Lou, wondering what on earth had gotten into him and tilting his head out of curiosity. Trotting towards his friend, he sniffed at the counter and began to lick the dilapidated cupboards.
Unbothered by the obvious intent to attack him by Lou, Finny had picked up on his old habit of repeatedly butting his head into the side of the glass bowl. Unfortunately, due to Harley accidentally nudging the bowl when she caused the fish food to spill, the bowl was now dangerously close to the edge, and with each movement the bowl moved closer and closer to the precipice.
In a moment of clarity, Lou noticed the inescapable outcome and instead of trying to encourage the end to come faster, began desperately nudging the bowl to move it away from the edge.
There was a scandalized gasp from the doorway and Harley rushed over, lifting both fish and bowl out of reach, "LOU! BUD! NO EATING THE FISH! I ALREADY GAVE YOU FOOD SO YOU LEAVE MISTA J'S FISH ALONE!" She placed the bowl on the table and cuffed the hyena's snouts with her hand in a warning, "Good thing I came back when I did! Well, I never woulda guessed it." She shook her head disappointedly then grabbed the duffle bag she had forgotten and came back for then stormed out the door, slamming it behind her.
Crossing his paws and resting his chin on them defeatedly, Lou carefully watched the bowl with distaste and bitterness, detesting the fish even more yet knowing well enough to leave it alone for now.
Bud had somehow gotten ahold of the fish food and was attempting to eat both container and the contents inside, with little success.
Finny the fish aimed another jet of water at Bud, delighted at his 'new' plan and anticipating the reaction. His memory so faulty that he had completely forgotten the events that had taken place and was blissfully planning an attack.
YOU ARE READING
Fish and Bits
FanfictionA series of short stories involving the Joker's pet fish, Finny, as well as several other character such as Two-Face and Catwoman. Not romantic, obviously.
