Having just returned from a successful heist, Catwoman was almost purring to herself with satisfaction. The adrenaline rush had by this point dwindled to a low buzz of excitement and pride, and her tired body was yearning for some rest. Climbing in through the window of her apartment, she tossed the duffle bag of stolen Egyptian cat artifacts from the museum onto her couch. It landed with a muffled thud beside a sleeping cat, the animal letting out a low hiss of discomfort and leaping off the couch to find a place to sleep without being disturbed.
Uttering a sigh of exhaustion, Selina pulled her goggles off and dropped them on the back of a chair. About to collapse onto her bed, she noticed a commotion out of the corner of her eye. Turning around, she was on the verge of scolding the cats for causing a scene even though she had fed them three hours previously when she saw the tank. Curiosity growing in her, she carefully made her way through the crowd of cats and stopped before the tank.
Finny, who had yesterday gotten used to the concept of travelling and being left on stranger's doors, hid himself beneath an artificial cave decoration. Visibly upset by all the attention, he glared as menacingly as he could at the curious, predatory faces.
"And who do we have here?" She purred at the frightened fish, propping her elbows up on the table in front of the tank and resting her chin on the palm of her left hand. With her right hand, she traced a clawed finger along the glass, creating a high pitched scratching which so agitated the cats that they leapt off the table and away from the fish.
Sensing that the threat had been temporarily averted, Finny emerged from his makeshift cave and swum up to Selina to greet her. He seemed to have picked up the habit of wagging his tail when excited from Bud and Lou.
"Aren't you a funny little thing," She grinned to herself and slowly reached inside the water to grab at the fish. "I bet all that toxin has made you flavourful, and you look so plump. Isis will love you," She cooed to it, lifting up the artificial cave decoration that Finny had retreated under once more to escape becoming a meal. "Come here you. You're just postponing the inevitable for a few moments." She hissed, her arm up to her elbow fully submerged within the tank, swatting furiously at the hysterical fish.
Reaching his limit, Finny began to panic at the realization that he had amounted his maximum speed. The split second after he realized this fact, he narrowly dodged Selina's open claws and made the spontaneous decision to seek his escape outside of the bowl. Manoeuvring his body in such a way that he curved around her wrist, he leapt from the tank, his tail flailing and propelling him into the air in a cinematic arc. Droplets of water following in his path, a stray few spinning out of orbit and colliding with Selina, a perfectly aimed droplet hitting her square in the eye, stunning her and causing her to let out a yelp of both surprise and discomfort.
As Selina watched Finny's journey in the air through blurred eyesight, she removed her arm from the fish tank and leapt after him. Ignoring the knowledge that one's depth perception is altered when the eyesight in one eye is unequal to the eyesight of the other. Midway through the air, however, the thought must have dawned on her as a look of realization followed by panic appeared on her face. Adjusting her arms from reaching to shielding, she prepared herself for the impact of a chair, a table, or perhaps the counter. With a crashing thud, she collided with a chair and the sound of snapping wood masked the splash of water as the fish landed in then water bowl of a cat.
Groaning with pain and holding her head in her hand, Selina slowly got to her feet and held onto the counter for support. Shards of splintered wood fell from her hair and her suit, landing with small thuds on the ground at her feet. "You're-" She stopped to catch her breath, "-craftier than I thought. Isis wouldn't appreciate all the trouble I would have to go through in order to get her a snack out of you. Perhaps it's just better for you to continue existing..." Scooping the fish up and out of the water bowl, she returned him to the tank and covered it with a dish towel in order to hide temptation from the group of cats now gathering at the door of the kitchen to observe the spectacle.
Selina, now in her sleeping attire, climbed tiredly into her bed. She was about to close her eyes when her arm brushed against something thin and rough. Turning on the lamp on her bedside table, she reached over and picked up a note that had been left on her pillow. Squinting slightly to read the messy purple handwriting on the green paper, she began to read;
'Hi Kitty! I know that you and fishes don't exactly get along, but I wanted Finny to meet one of my most purrfect friends! HAHA! Now, I have to warn you, Finny's picked up the bad habit of jumping a lot. So just watch out for that. I'll be around to collect my friend in the morning! Toodles, Joker.'
With a frustrated groan, she angrily tore up the note and threw it over the side of the bed. Aggressively pulling the sheets up and over her head, she switched off the lamp and went to sleep.
Isis, carefully gathering up the torn pieces of paper, carried them gently in her mouth towards the tank containing the now calm fish. Lifting up the towel with her paw, she dropped the fragments of green notepaper into the water, wherein Finny ate the offerings brought to him.
YOU ARE READING
Fish and Bits
FanfictionA series of short stories involving the Joker's pet fish, Finny, as well as several other character such as Two-Face and Catwoman. Not romantic, obviously.
