Leaving my love behind

Chapter 44

Meredith's POV:

It's been a few days and some have been better than others and some worse than others but I guess that's how recovery goes, today I have my first therapy session after being discharged from the hospital. If I'm being honest I don't want to go I know I need to but I rather just spend the whole day with my family, but Derek being well Derek won't let that happen till I see the shrink.

"Meredith are you seriously still in bed?"

I try to roll over to hide from Derek so I don't have to get out of bed but as soon as I moved pain seeped throughout my body.

I groan in pain and I have now decided that I definitely will not be moving anytime soon.

"Mer are you alright? What's wrong? Do you need pain meds?"

"Just give me a minute Derek."

"If we want to get to your appointments on time we need to go in about 10, so yell for me when you need help."

Yup Derek said appointments as in more than one, I have a therapy session then an ortho check-up and finally, I have to go down to the police station to give a statement since I couldn't when I was hospitalized.

I slowly try to get up once more forgetting once again that I have a cast on and my crutches were out of my reach. I stand up from the bed and I'm pleased with myself I stood up myself now I just need to walk, can't be that hard, can it?

I was wrong, once again I put more wait on the broken from than my good foot and fell to the ground and made a thud to go with it.

I can hear Derek running up the stairs to see what was wrong.

"Meredith! What did you do? Are you okay?"

Derek looked at me with worry in his eyes it's my fault I fell, it's my fault this happened in the first place if I had just kept walking into the hospital or not turned around to face him we wouldn't be in this position.

"Derek it's all my fault, IT'S ALL MY FAULT."

Derek's POV:

Meredith starts to blame herself for what happened to her and I can't let her do that to herself, I won't.

"Meredith listen to me. YOU are not to blame her this is not your fault this is Taylor's fault, not yours. You were simply going to work and what happened we didn't see coming, this is in no way your fault."

I know from everything Meredith has been through the past months she needs to talk to someone as much as she denies and refuses to acknowledge it Dr. Wyatt will help her.

"Come on let me help you up and get dressed we need to get ready to leave, I think going to today will help you a lot today."

//

*At the appointment*

Derek finally got me to go to the therapy session even after I begged him not to make me go, but deep down I know I have to go but it means I have to talk about what happened.

"Meredith?"

"Huh? Sorry I was... I was thinking."

"Meredith, you were making progress in therapy before you were discharged and now you are shutting everyone else once again. Meredith this is when you say everything and anything without any judgment."

She's right I have been shutting everyone out and I know I have to talk but where do I even start?

"Where do I even begin, so many thoughts run through my head. I constantly feel when I walk anywhere even in my own home I feel as he is right behind the corner or door just waiting for me to be an easy target again. I can't go through all of that again for the third time! I mean it's one thing to get attacked once but twice!"