Leaving my love behind

Chapter 49

Meredith's POV:

The girls and I well mainly myself were having a good time being home, the quietness started off to be unusual I didn't know what to do but then it soon became comforting. The girls had their ups and downs throughout the day, but in this moment, as I watch Eliza play with her toys in the playpen, and rock Amelia to sleep I become grateful to have made it out of the hospital alright.

Amelia soon falls asleep in my arms I place her into her bassinet in the living room, and I walk into the kitchen to prepare lunch for myself and search for some baby foods the girls can eat in a few hours. I look in each cabinet and the only things I could find were pureed carrots and sweet potatoes, guess that would have to be added to the shopping list for the week.

I walk back into the living room both girls haven't moved or crawled away yet which is a good sign, well I hope it's a good sign. As I sit down with my grilled cheese and my glass of water the front door opens, and in walks Derek.

"Derek? You're supposed to be at work, why are you home?"

"I got sent home? Why?"

"It's a long story but right now, I just want to spend time with my girls."

"We're going to come back to this conversation Derek, they can't just send you home without a reason."

"They had a reason."

"Which would be?"

Derek's POV:

Richard made me come home soon after I experienced my panic attack. I'm not allowed back at work till I see the therapist, to talk about how everything with Meredith affected me, and well I guess it's for the best I never really did talk to anyone about how I was feeling.

"Derek, why did they send you home? I mean I love that you're home but there was a reason."

I look to Eliza and she is smiling with her teeny tiny teeth showing, Amelia is snoozing and I know that Meredith is waiting for an answer but I don't know where to begin. I don't even know how it happened. Or how I got to the hospital or into the on-call room, I was so focused on the fact that Meredith was by herself again.

"I had a panic attack."

"Oh Der, I'm sorry, what brought it on? Do you remember what trigged you or where you were when it happened?"

"It's a long story Mer, and I just want to sit here with you, knowing that you're okay."

"But Derek, you're not okay, and I want to help you so you're going to eat half of my grilled cheese, and we will watch tv until you are ready to tell me the story. Okay?"

"Thank you Mer, I just need to gather my thoughts."

Meredith's POV:

It's clear Derek is in no position to talk about whatever went down at work today, but at the same time I can piece the puzzle together, of course, I'm not sure if my idea of what could have happened is correct, The morning clearly took an emotional toll on Derek and he has fallen asleep lying against me I. take this time to notice his features he has bags under his eyes not noticeable to those who don't know Derek, but to me, they are clear as well as the frown his forehead is showcasing as he sleeps.

I never realized how stressful these last months were for him, I mean I knew but not to this level. I decide to pick up the phone and call Izzie hoping to see could come over and watch the girls while I go out and plan something for Derek.

Izzie-"Hey Mer what's up?"

"I was wondering if you could come over while I run an errand? I would take the girls but I don't want Derek waking up to nobody, I won't be long."