Sweetheart

11

Lizzie
August 2020

When I wake up the next day, I want to slap myself across the face again and again for what happened in Aaron's bedroom.

What the hell was I thinking? Grabbing him by the towel? Teasing him like a little bitch? But you made him hard. Yes, and he made me freaking wet. That's not okay.

Desperate, I groan. A year of this shit. How am I going to survive this? Easy. I won't. I'll just kill Aaron before he can get to my head. Again.

I unplug my phone and decide to check my social medias for the first time in weeks. Usually, I use a fake account to avoid the hate comments under my posts. If only people knew the truth...

As expected, my Instagram posts are filled with insults and death threats. I'd asked my parents' lawyer if I could take them down and delete them, but he said it would be too suspicious if I did it, so instead, I made other accounts with other emails. I can't believe everything went to shit just because people don't want to listen to me.

For a moment, I almost dial my mother's number. Then again, I know better than to disturb her while she's at work. But my heart misses home, and that is not my parents or my LA. I dial the number of my real family.

"Hello?" Mrs. Poloni's voice is as warm as a spring day, full of life and colors.

I instantly smile. "Hi, Rosy." Her real name is Rosanna, but as a child, I couldn't pronounce it, so I ended up calling her Rose or Rosy. "It's Lizzie."

My nanny lights up. "Oh, stellina mia (my little star), hi! I miss you so much!" she exclaims with her thick accent.

My heart fills with joy. It's good to know that at least someone misses my presence. "I miss you too, Rosy. How are you? How are things at home?" I ask her, getting out of bed and pulling down Caleb's oversized t-shirt.

"Oh, stellina, not so good. Your mamma and papà are so busy with their jobs and affairs. They're so distant," she admits, and I can tell she's genuinely hurt. My parents aren't fun people, but Rosy has known them for years, so clearly she got attached. My, mom and dad are the only people she has.

I feel bad for her. She's such a lovely woman that deserves the world. "I'm so sorry, Rosy. I wish I could be there with you. I promise I'll find a way to see you soon."

Rosy laughs. "Stellina, I know how things are. You shouldn't come back here unless it's completely safe for you. I'll be all right. I can always see you, you know?"

I smile to myself. "Because I'm the brightest star in your sky?" I repeat the words she used to tell me when I was a child.

"Yes. You show me the path with your light, Lizzie. Remember, don't let anyone stop your brightness." Don't let anyone change who you are. "I love you so much, stellina. Never forget that."

I know why she's telling me this. She's aware of how absent my parents are. Never a kiss, never a hug, never an "I'm proud of you" or "I love you." But Rosy was always there for that. She would always hug me one more time, give me two kisses instead of one, and tell me beautiful words when I least expected them. "Thank you, Rosy," I say. "I love you too."

"I should go back to work now, stellina. Your mamma asked me to clean the entire pool today, poor me. I better get started on that," she tells me. "Call me whenever you need a bit of home in your heart, all right?"

I nod. "Yes, Rosy, I will. Take care, okay? Don't work too hard. And remember to take your medicines. I know how you are with them..." I scold her jokingly. "I'll talk to you soon, Rosy. Love you."