Broken promises have that excitement to them Like how once you believe and the next, you're mistaken Happy endings have a sense of sacredness forgotten Hence we dream of peace and security over again That's what you are, love—a written-off promise In a sea of kept ones, you are a turbulent breeze There is no telling what I went through with you Because once there's love and the next, is the blue You are a puzzle I wish to never have solved Like barnacles on skin, I wish I didn't get involved It wasn't because I don't like you—you're just not the one So I owe it to myself to save my soul while still not gone
Fairytales and modern romances tell me one thing What's supposed to be love ends up vile and demeaning Because I've spent my while believing those lies Like how degradation and narcissism are allegedly nice It's not—it's a sword plunged deep into your throat It's hell on earth and heaven is nowhere on the boat I fell into a trap meant to lure a depressed soul How one toxic puddle went to another until the next haul And I plunged right in, skipped in about a dozen too I thought I was happy until I realized who's who I was being chewed from the inside and on out I owe it to myself to escape before it goes south
Pride and dignity are one thing but survival is another Everyone is out to get me even in my slumber That comfort, the promises and vows you offer I took it like a depraved mind hoping for forever And when I fought for air in a sea of breathless fools I was told I was naive, selfish, broken with the right tools This is not love, darling—it's never been from the start I've seen the signs coming and I chose over it my heart Where did that get me? A thousand miles away from home Cussing like a sailor, chilled and terrified to the bone Love, don't ever blame me for leaving the way I did I owe it to myself to grow and destroy the masks I hid
And I did love you then, perhaps a little too strongly What do I get back except demands and apathy? It's wrong to trust people who aren't out to get me I've learned my lesson, sir, so I'll not be lonely Just another module to learn—that's what you are A page in a chapter in a book with the ending not so far You told me I won't die young and that I've got time Yet you hold the knife and killed me with your tongue It's a death that hurt, love, one that didn't quite finish too I still feel it day by day, the scars I get to live through I blame you but I should blame myself for having no clue So I owe it to myself to move on and forget you
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Breaking silence about personal things in my life has never been my practice but for my sake, I guess it's high time. Most of you won't know what this is about but if it reaches the right ears, it's a message and most probably, a farewell.
I never get to have the last word and that's alright. You'll forever remain at the back of my mind until such time when the words you said don't hurt anymore and the scars you left have already faded. Until such time, love, you'll have these poems addressed to you but not really.
After all, it's all it is—just a story in the face of millions of others.
Dear reader, let me know what you think in the comments! uwu.
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