I Don't Belong Here (Levi x reader)

The Pain

The moment the scout regiment had delivered me back behind the safety of the wall, I am brought to an empty, uncharacteristic room with a bed, a dresser, a table and a wash bowl under the window. Levi and Hange lower me onto the bed, paying close attention to my wounds. 

"All boys get out." Hange barks, eyeing Levi and Eren in particular.

"Hange..." Jeager protests with worry in his eyes, glancing between me and Hange.

Hange bites back, telling them to have some respect. Levi demands a status report once Hange fixes me up a bit more, then turns on his heels, pulling Jeager behind him by his shirt collar.

I wince when Hange starts to unwrap my bonding, telling someone to get clean cloths from somewhere. I begin to faint, my vision going blurry and my hearing give out. I'm starting to think I'm no longer dreaming and I've shifted to some other reality somehow. The jolt never came, I kept falling. How can I faint in my own dream? Or maybe it's that thing where if you die in your dream, you'll wake up. Yeah... maybe I'm just dying in my dream and I'll wake up in my room tomorrow...

My eyelids are heavy when I wake up. I struggle to open them, I feel like I've been sedated. That was some dream I... had...

I look around me, my thought trailing off. I make a soft noise of confusion as my setting begins to come to my attention around me. Hange is sitting at the table by the window, playing cards with Captain Levi quietly. 

My noise catches her attention as soft as it is, and she lets her hand of cards fall to the table as she rushes over to me. Levi peaks at hers, then sets his hand of cards face down on the table and walks over to my bedside.

"You're alive!" Hange says happily, with a hint of desperation behind her words.

"Where am I?" I ask faintly, my body still recovering.

"You're in the Scout Regiment courters behind Wall Rose. Welcome!"

"Hange, we don't know who she is or why she was outside the walls. Don't tell her anything." Levi remarks, crossing his arms over his chest. "Give me one good reason I shouldn't break your remaining ribs, (L/N)." He says, looking down on me.

"Captain, I know you're wondering if you can trust me. I assure you, however, that kicking the shit out of me won't get you anywhere."

"You're really going to talk to me like that?" He says as he scowls down at me, cocking an eyebrow up.

The only way I will make it through this with out getting a knee to the jaw from Levi is to lie. I'm in Wall Rose, so that means Wall Maria must have already been breached. Otherwise, they wouldn't have taken me all the way here. It's a risk, but I tell my lie.

"Please, Captain Ackerman. After the breaching of Wall Maria, I had to escape somehow. I lost my family, my friends, I had no idea where to go. I panicked... I must have blacked out. If you hadn't rescued me when you did, I would have probably met the same fate everyone else had..."

"How did you get past the titans?" Hange asks, not even the slightest bit concerned with me, but rather if I had a genius and epic escape route. Fuck. Think fast, think fast!

"I... I don't know... I hid, and found a horse to escape on... I couldn't see which direction I was heading, only that if I was behind the titans, they couldn't see me or bother to chase me. I went their opposite direction to avoid being noticed and that's all I can remember, honest!"

I don't break contact with Levi's gaze, his cold, emotionless eyes searing into mine. He squints his eyes briefly, then says, letting his arms fall by his sides, "I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, (L/N). But cross me, and I won't hesitate to personally feed you to the titans. Understood?"

I nod, finding some strength to sit up slightly. It's doesn't hurt too much, but I still wince as I try to take a deeper breath.

Levi begins to leave the room and shuts the door softly behind him.

"What's up his ass?" I ask Hange as she prepares to switch gauze pads for the cut on my cheek. She laughs, clenching her eyes shut in amusement.

"When I find out, I'll let you know! So, (F/N), do you think you can walk? It would be great if you could come to dinner and officially meet everyone now that you're not bleeding all over the place." She says, cleaning off my tender wound.

"I think I'd be fine, actually. I would really like to meet everyone. Especially Eren to let him know I'm ok, he seemed really concerned earlier."

"He was, as was Mikasa and Armin. Their good kids. I can see the job weighing down on them, though. It's hard to watch everyone go through that phase, even while training."

I had never thought of that before; imagining what everyone was like before they joined the regiment or survey corps, or what even made them join in the first place. It's not like this is a job anyone would want if they knew what they'd have to sacrifice. "Did you go through that phase, Hange?"

She looks at me a moment after finishing the patchwork of gauze and bandages on my face, then looks down at her hands in her lap. "Sort of... but I put all my anger into the passion of understanding the beasts to be able to help and contribute to humanity. There's no point in sitting around and moping about what's already happened when there's a chance you could save the future."

"You're really brave, you know that, right?" I've always wanted to say this to her. Hange, being one of my favorite characters from this show, and now somehow, through what feels like a cursed miracle, I'm able to tell her face to face.

Her gaze meets mine again as she glows from the compliment, "You are too, (F/N)! To look down at that titan all alone!? That's insane! Ever thought about joining the forces?"

"But I was scared out of my mind, and look how I ended up!"

She flicks her wrist at me as she clicked her tongue. "Tch, please. With the 3DM gear, you'd have nothing to worry about. Talk to Commander Erwin when you're healed up. We could use a strong girl like you on the team."

"I think I'd rather just... not."

She throws her head back in laughter, then helps me up out of the bed. "Come and eat, and when you're better there will be a place for you. Think of the survey corps as the place someone goes when there's no where else to go. Everyone is in the same boat as you, (F/N). Everyone fits in here."

She takes my hand and leads me to the dresser to get a fresh button up shirt on, some clean, fitted khaki trousers and black slip on shoes. Its basic and comfy, and I feel relaxed. She walks with me to the dining hall where everyone is gathered for dinner. My nerves go bazzerk on the way there. Somehow I keep thinking I'm going to wake up any moment, that I'll laugh about this crazy dream with Jess and Alyssa. But I don't wake up.