I Don't Belong Here (Levi x reader)

"Request Denied."

I spent most of the next few days around Wall Rose, exploring and getting lost, panicking, then some more exploring. My dream hasn't ended, and I'm starting to think I can't return. That I won't return. Today is the last day after a week of surveying behind Wall Maria and beyond before the cadets and troops come back for a day or two off. I usually only get the evenings with everyone, and I'm not the best at making friends. But this time I'll get a whole day with them, and to work on getting on Levi's good side.

As Captain Levi leads his cadets into the wall from the great gates, I'm there to greet them. Commander Erwin is riding his horse beside him, followed by Hange and the rest of the squads. I wave vigorously at them. Levi glances quickly at me, but then I spot Sasha and Springer. They gesture for me to come over to them, so I rush through the crowd to walk alongside their horses for a moment.

"Sasha, Connie! How was it out there?"

"Uneventful. Only a few titans, and nothing to be seen as to how they knew to directly hit the gate of the wall to bring it down." Connie admits.

"At least no one got eaten!" Sasha chimes in.

"Meet me after you get cleaned up in the quart yard, ok? I'm feeling better and  I wanna train with you guys. I think I should know how to defend myself." Sasha nods excitedly, and I return back to the scout building, easily finding my way through the city after getting lost enough times.

I quickly jog into my room to change into something more comfortable to train in. I'm hoping Captain Levi will let me do this... I have no real itch to go out and kill titans, but if I'm here for a while I should at least give myself a fighting chance incase something happens... and something always happens.

I pull up some leggings and a loose fitting t-shirt and combat boots, wrap my hands in some linen so I don't get blisters, then rush back out into the hallway. I jog outside, looking around to see if I can find Sasha or Connie waiting for me. There's no one. I'm sure they'll be out here soon, so I take myself over to the training grounds.

When I arrive, of course Levi is there, alone. Damnit, they told him, didn't they? I guess it would have been innocently asking for permission rather than tattling. I tighten my fists and, with overconfidence, walk up to Levi.

He's sitting on a wooden chest that's leaned up against a wall with mounted weapons and rags, his ankle crossed over his knee as he rests his elbow casually across his thigh. His other hand props himself up as he waits patiently for me. He's removed his 3DM gear, but kept his pants and button down on. The top 3 buttons are undone and I can't seem to catch my breathe. Damn, he's beautiful.

"What the hell do you think you're up to, (L/N)?" He says, tilting his head away from me and looking at me with low-hooded eyes. His jawline becomes more defined, creating a shadow on his neck from the setting sunlight. I swallow hard before I answer him, my stomach catching butterflies.

"I see Sasha and Connie mentioned my request to train, then." I say, my body shivering with intimidation and fake confidence.

"Request denied."

"But Captain-"

"But nothing, (L/N)." He says, standing up. "Try this again and you'll be behind bars."

"Why don't you trust me?" I demand, finally done with his shit. "I can't protect myself; you witnessed that first hand the moment you met me. Hell, you even saved me! So why this resentment? Do you regret saving my life or something?"

"tch." He clicks his tongue, looking away from me.

"You... you do, don't you. You regret saving me because you feel off about me, and now you're worried that you've let some traitor behind the wall."

"God, you're clueless."

"Huh?" I cock my head to the side, now completely clueless as to what's going on behind those grey eyes.

"Of course I don't regret saving you. It's my job as a protector of humanity to save people from those bastards."

"So then why are you personally giving me the cold shoulder?" I ask, this time my voice soft, hinting towards the hurt I feel. I've always looked up to him, even loved him as an iconic character from this dumb show in my other reality. And now, for some reason, I've made it my goal to get on his good side. If I can do that, maybe I can figure out a way to get back home. If I can do that, will my heart be satisfied and this dream will end?

"You just... remind me of someone. That's all."

I blink a few times, trying to think of who I could remind him of. Then it dawns on me... He saved me from being crushed under a titan. He held me against a tree, holding me and making sure I was alive before he let go. He couldn't do that last time that exact situation came up. Now I understand, and now I know what time period I'm in.

"I... I'm so sorry, Captain. I didn't-" I start, but he closes the gap between us quickly and says in a hard, demanding voice that's on the verge of sounding protective.

"That's why you stay inside where it's safe. Otherwise, we can't always protect you." He starts to walk past me and back into the building when he turns around and says, "Now get changed for dinner. Your friends are probably waiting."

I can't believe that moments after I dropped into this slumber of an alternate reality I triggered Captain Levi of losing his entire hand-picked survey squad. One in particular. Annie, why did you do it? Save Armin, but hurt the rest? You knew... You knew it would only count against you in the end. The three of you against all of us and you alone succeeded... how? 

I shake my progressing rabbit-hole thoughts out quickly before returning to my room to change, then walk towards the smell of warm vegetable soup and fresh ale coming from the dining hall.