I Broke The Girl I Loved

Take a Risk

"Nope. I'm not doing that," I firmly stated.

"Oh come on Jayce. I drove you all the way out here for this and you're not even going to do it? I promise it'll be fun," Aydrian whined as she pulled on my sleeve like a little kid trying to get an adults attention.

"N-"

"Let's go," Aydrian cut me off and pulled me towards the station where you put on your harness.

I've never been afraid of heights but hanging from a line, tied in by a flimsy harness above the ground does not sound appealing to me. My dad tried to convince me to go zip lining with him when we first moved here and I agreed. As soon as we got to Dankwood Zip Lining I threw up so we turned around and drove home.

I started to feel the queasy feeling coming back to me once my harness was on and Aydrian and I started climbing the stairs to the first cable. Aydrian was practically jumping up and down with excitement when we made it to the top. I, on the other hand, was holding onto a wooden pole for my dear life.

"Jayce come on," Aydrian begged.

"Nope."

"Yup. Come on," she said as she tried to free my grasp on the pole.

I wasn't budging.

"How about this, we do this one cable and if you're really that scared then we can leave. Fair enough?" She asked.

I contemplated her offer before responding with, "no".

"Jayce, please," she begged.

I looked back over at the cables and the two male workers standing waiting to strap us in. They kept glancing between each other and back at me while laughing. I looked back at Aydrian.

"Fine," I said, giving in and letting go of the pole.

Aydrian thanked me and ran over to the cable. The first worker strapped her in and then it was my turn. I walked up to the cable and the second worker started snickering so I glared at him and he shut up real quick while he strapped me in. People say to never look down if you're scared when doing these types of things but I did the complete opposite. My gaze drifted down to the ground and I got light headed as I looked at the distance. Aydrian said we would be forty feet above the ground but looking down it had to be more than forty feet. I looked over at Aydrian, fear written all over my face, and all she said was, "you'll be fine. Trust me".

"You guys are all strapped in. You can go whenever," the worker, who strapped Aydrian in, told us.

"On three?" Aydrian asked.

I agreed and she began counting.

"One..."

Deep breaths.

"Two..."

Deep breaths.

"Three!"

I pushed off the platform and shut my eyes. Aydrian was cheering beside me as the wind rushed passed my ears.

"Open your eyes dummy," Aydrian laughed.

Slowly I opened my eyes. My first instinct was to look down and see how far I'd fall if something went wrong but instead I just watched Aydrian. She had her arms spread out and her head was slightly tilted back. Her eyes were closed and she had a huge smile on her face as beautiful pine trees passed behind her in a blur of greens. Her eyes opened and she looked over at me. I smiled at her and that only made her smile wider.

We got off the first cable and she asked, "another one?"

"Sure," I responded, craving to see her beautiful smile more.

"Yes," she whispered as she did a tiny little dance beside me.

The next ride was longer but the entire time I watched Aydrian as she laughed and smiled. I did the same thing for the rest of the cables and finally, when we had made it safely back on the ground a pang hit my chest. My dad wanted to zip line before he died but he never got to because I was too scared. Now here I am enjoying myself doing what I prevented him from doing. Thinking back on it, I prevented him from doing a lot of the things he wanted to in his lifetime.

Aydrian was blabbering on about how amazing zip lining was but I was only half listening as my mind was now focused on my dad. This day was supposed to take my mind off of him but so far all it's done is made me think of him.

"Hello? Are you okay?" Aydrian asked when we reached the car we rode in, which was her moms car since Aydrian doesn't have her own.

I faked a smile. "Of course, what's next on your plan?"

                                        •••
We made it back into town and Aydrian pulled into the parking lot beside Judy's Diner. We walked up to the door and went inside sitting at the first open booth which happened to be the booth I used to sit at with my dad when we would come here. I tried to keep it together, sitting down and picking up the menu to read it even though I already knew what I'd order; a hamburger with extra pickles and a side of fries with a chocolate milkshake. A young blond haired waitress walked over to our table to take our order.

"Hi, my name is Kimberly and I'll be your server today. Can I start you off with some drinks or are you ready to order?" Kimberly chirped in a happy tone.

I set my menu down and looked over at her and her mood instantly changed from happy to sympathetic which made me feel pathetic.

"Jayce, I heard about Wilson. I'm so sorry," she said, reaching out to give me a comforting pat on the shoulder.

I couldn't take it anymore and I got up. Aydrian was questioning where I was going and I simply responded with, "a walk". She got up to follow me, apologizing to Kimberly as she walked out the door. I felt a soft hand on my arm and turned around to come face to face with Aydrian.

"Jayce, talk to me," Aydrian said in a soft tone.

"I can't. I can't." I responded, brushing her arm off.

"Where are you going?" She asked as I started to run.

"Home," I said.

•••
I had actually planned on running to my spot, the clearing in the woods at the edge of town with the cliff I sit at and the secluded beach I walk on when I need to be alone, but by the time I passed the school my legs felt weak. I slowed to a walk as I past the houses close to mine. First a brown house, next a white house which was followed by a green house before it was my house. The grey dark blue of my house seemed dull, like by losing the person in it it had lost its color too. As I walked up to the door I kept thinking that I was going to go inside and find some note saying something along the lines of 'be home soon' and then I'll wait around for two hours, maybe even three, before my dad walks through the door looking tired but happy to be home. We will eat leftovers for dinner and watch some crappy movie before he goes to bed and the same thing happens the next day. Except that won't happen, not even close.

Someone from the other side of the door opened it just as I was about to. It was Darla and she had a suitcase in one hand.

"What's going on?" I questioned.

"Baby," Darla said as she put her free hand on my cheek and moved my hair out of my eyes. "Evie and I, we're... well we..." She seemed to be struggling to find the words she needed.

"You're what?" I asked.

She sighed. "We're leaving."