Fall in love with my best friends brother? CHECK
That's it. That's all I've got. I'm seriously stupid, how could this cliché happen to me. Kooper is my best friend, his older brother though? I have dreams of him.
I shouldn't like her.
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Kieffer
(Summer 2021)
I don't know what the hell I just did. Don't get me wrong, definitely the best kiss in my life, she always has been, both of us sober, lips against one another, mind blowing. She fit so perfect, and I will never get the taste of her lips off mine. I shouldn't have fucking done it but she asked, she needed it. The anniversary of her Momma's death was already hard enough on her and I done fucked that up even more.
I drove around for a while before finally turning down the drive for the Ranch. I stopped seeing Kooper's truck and hopped out on mine all but running inside. Still shirtless with my boots untied.
"Koop, where you at? I need to talk to you."
"Kitchen!"
"I fucked up man." I started walking toward the kitchen. "I fucked up so bad, I'm in fucking love with her, I know I've never told you but you'll get hell over that, and just fell so much harder but the shi-" I stopped in my tracks when I got into the kitchen, eyes focused on Taylor's swollen ones.
"Why don't you have a damn shirt on?" Kooper laughed. I spun on my heels without a word and started back out to my truck. Kooper yelled my name a few times but I ignored him.
"Kieffer!" I closed my eyes and stopped after going down the first step of the porch and shook my head, then took another step. "ABBOTT!" I stopped again and turned around to face Taylor. "I deserve answers. What the hell was that?!" She pointed to the house. I ran my hands down my face. She was still in my shirt, but had her jeans on, and a flash of her naked and against me ran through my head. Three times she's been naked and against me now. Three.
"Taylor, I can't do this."
"No!" She took a few steps toward me with her bare feet. "No, you don't get to do this again to me." She sniffled, tears still falling. "You don't get to kiss me like that, you don't get to piece me back together, make me feel like I am worth everything, then leave without explanation, or pretend like it never happened, while I'm broken and on the ground. I deserve to know why!" I threw my hands in the air.
"I just can't!"
"THAT ISN'T A REASON! It wasn't on my 21st birthday, and it wasn't on your 29th, and it sure as hell ain't one now!"
"It needs to be." I lowered my voice.
"WELL IT AIN'T!" I shook my head a few times before turning around and starting for my truck. Before I got to it, she was right there, she put herself between the door and me.
"Taylor, please move." I couldn't make eye contact with her. I'd spill everything damn thing, it was bad enough for her to point out that she did remember the last two times we were tangled together, that neither of us spoke a peep about.
"No."
"I can pick you up an move you right quick."
"And run away from this again?" She pointed between us.
"I ain't runnin'."
"Sure looks like it. Or just bein' a coward." Her words cut, I might be a lot of things but a coward ain't one of em'.
"You know damn well I ain't one of them either."
"Not from where I'm standin'."
"That's not fair Tay."
"Nope, you don't get to use my nickname when yer over here hidin' shit." I let out a heavy sigh.
"We all got secrets, I can't do this with you, please move."
"Are you in love with me?" Now I was speechless, because yes, yes I fucking was. I have been for shit about 16 years. "Cat got yer tongue now?"
"Please don't ask me anythin'."
"Why? Because you're always honest with me except right now when you want to fight everythin'. Everythin' that just happened, you kissin' me, us about to go do what both of us have wanted for a long damn time. You just wanna drop that honesty you got with me over what?"
"Somethin' that I ain't tellin' you about."
"WHY!" She sighed and took a breath. "Tell me you don't share that feelin' when we kissed, every time we've kissed. Tell me you don't love me. Tell me Kieffer, tell me I ain't worth your time. Tell me you'll never be able to love someone like me."
"STOP!" She broke me.
"NO TELL ME!"
"I CAN'T."
"WHY NOT!?"
"BECAUSE I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU!" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself, leaned my head back then dropped it forward. Her hands hit my face and forced me to look at her.
"I'm in love with you too. Why do we keep fighting this so hard? Why have we been keepin' things from one another." She was almost whispering.
"Because I can't be with you."
"Why Kieffer, why can't you be with me."
"Because your grandaddy is right, we ain't no good."
"I think I get to be the judge of that."
"Taylor..."
"There is a reason, and until you can tell me what that is I won't believe that you ain't good for me."
"I can't."
"So what? Now what do we do?" I shrugged my shoulders. "Then I'll just go."
"Don't Tay. Don't walk away." I knew if she walked away that was it. Whatever could have been never would be, I just am having a hard time letting her go. She was everything.
"What am I supposed to do if you can't be honest with me."
"I'm always honest with you."
"Right except for why you're not good." When I didn't answer she whispered a 'whatever' and started to walk back toward the house.
"My uncle is the one that killed yer Momma." I was ashamed. I dropped my head and leaned against the truck.
"What? No, she died in a warehouse fire while at work." She came back over and stood next to me. I kept my gaze to the gravel below my boots.
"A fire my uncle intentionally started in order to take his life." I looked over at her and watched it all piece together. Everyone around her knew and nobody has said a word to her about it. The betrayal I've been terrified to see was there along with a few other emotions I couldn't quite place.
"That ain't got a thing to do with you."
"My blood."
"Not. You." She rested her hand on my arm. "You are not a bad person Kieffer. You couldn't be if you tried. You may fight a bit too much but that don't make you bad. How long have you known this?"
"Too long."
"Who all knew?"
"We were asked to not tell you."
"By who?" I didn't say who, instead just nodded back to the house. "Fuckin' Kooper." She sighed. "Does my grandaddy know?" I nodded. "Oh my god. Everyone's been lyin' to me!" She was pissed. "Well fuck all of you right now, I've been keeping something too."
"Taylor what secrets do you have?" I tried notto laugh; she's always been a completely open book. She pulled her phone out ofher back pocket went through it for a second, and threw it at me before walkingaway. I picked it up off the ground looking at the picture confused, I was staringat a picture of a little boy holding a framed birth certificate. I zoomed inand fell to my knees. Name - Konnor Joseph Abbott, Date of Birth - October 18th,2018, Sex - Male, Place of Birth - Potter County, Texas, Father - KiefferJoseph Abbott, Mother - Taylor Margret Jackson. Holy shit.
