Just før Fun

Chapter 5

Cruisin' Through Oceans of Blood

Shots were fired.
People screamed.
Anyone who had jumped off the ship in an attempt to run away was shot dead by Tøny.
His shots could never miss.
The water around the cruise had become fully red.
The escape boat was burning in the middle of the ocean with a couple of half burned corpses floating around it.
Matt was always good at throwing his Molotovs.

Tøny: "close the door. I'm gonna have fun with this one!"

Matt: "Aye aye captain!"

Tøny: "So, Damien right? Well Damien, I'd like to inform you that you and the rest of your cruise have been lucky enough to get a visit from Santa Claus. Except, the gift is a chainsaw up your ass! So you may call yourself unlucky. Now, you have a choice before you. Either I'll give my friend here a signal and he goes downstairs, where your dear wife is held hostage, and anal rape her until she'd never walk again and you're gonna have to watch every second of it! Or I'll tie your hands to this lovely ol' chainsaw here and you're gonna have to cut her limbs off, one by one, starting from the legs, and then we'll all watch her bleed to death like a good ol' family on a Saturday night. Any funny business and we'll go right back to the first option. And trust me, my friend here will still rape her even if she's limbless and bleeding to death. Maybe I'll join in too. So whaddaya say? Option A or option B? I'll give you five seconds."

Damien: "I say you go fuck yourself ASSHOLE! And if you lay even a SINGLE FING—

Tøny: "Abababadaba, shhhh... hush now pretty boy. Spare me the cliche bullshit. You know you're not in a position of power here. And because I feel so generous today, I'll ask you one more time. As the legends go that god gave mankind his choice, I am now delivering yours. So tell me you sinning raghead, tell me you lost little lamb amongst the seas, let your sins wash away oh the sweet child of allah. Would you rather your wife goes to hell, or you go to hell? The choice is yours, and yours truly."

Matt: "For an atheist you're very skilled at preaching."

Tøny: "I learned from the best."

Damien: "I— I uh... kill me! Just kill me you devils! Please take my life! Do whatever you want with me! Just let my wife go!"

Tøny: "It seems that some people just cannot appreciate a choice."

Tøny turned his head towards Matt.

Tøny: "Shall we?"

Matt: "Oh you don't how long I've been waiting for you to say that. You've got a real pretty wife Damien! But you already know that. I'm afraid she won't be so pretty after I'm done with her. It's kinda sad really, but it must be done."

Damien: "You BASTARDS! YOU WILL BURN FOR ETERNITY IN HELL! YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS! ALL YOUR SINS!"

Tøny: "Tie him up. And cover his mouth too. Wouldn't wanna hear this shit all night."

Matt: "Haha! Always love it when we fuck up religious idiots. We should torture the pope next!"

***

Stanley: "ARRRRRRRRRGH! HOW?! How THE HELL did they manage to kill over THREE HUNDRED PEOPLE! Sink an ENTIRE cruise ship down the ocean! And FUCKING VANISH without a SINGLE TRACE?! And most importantly, how was the police force unaware of this FOR TWO DAYS?! Just what THE FUCK are you guys DOING?! The ship was owned by Mohammed Dahli, a BIG DEAL politician! And they killed him like it was nothing! What the FUCK am I supposed to report to my bosses?!"

Officer: "I'm sorry sir but that cruise was expected to be out in the ocean for days. Nobody could've seen it coming. They knew exactly how to avoid us. Nobody suspected a thing. I assure you, we're doing the best we can. They just seem to always be one step ahead."

Stanley: "Well that's because you're not doing enough!"

Officer: "Sir, with all due respect I must ask you to calm down."

Stanley: "Ah fuck it. Why am I here shouting at you when you clearly don't even know what we're dealing with here. Send my regards to the chief, I must leave for a meeting with some very mad authorities."