Desert • Flower | TaeJin || BOOK 3#

XXXIII. The past that does not hurt, but soothes

"Don't be so nervous. I'm sure they'll be happy to see you." assures Taehyung looking at Jin. The kisaeng keeps folding his sleeves and biting his lip. He will most likely end up breaking it from so much insisting.

"I don't think they're happy to see me." Jin replies in a low voice. A tone he had abandoned and for some reason, now, being already in Hanyang, resumes. Taehyung would be annoyed were it not for the fact that he sees him exaggeratedly constipated. It is clear that, although he accepted, he does not want to be here. A funny duality.

"Why wouldn't they be, do they even know you're alive? Circumstances being what they are, it would be more likely that you would have died, not come back." comments Taehyung and Jin says nothing.

It's nostalgic to get out of the carriage and see the grand imperial palace. Jin doesn't even recognize most of the servants circulating back and forth. He stops moving forward because he sees long pikes with nailed heads, several vultures and insects around the meat. Feeling nauseous, he averts his gaze and continues a step behind Taehyung as he moves forward.

"The emperor invited me to come." announces Taehyung handing over the letter and the guard allows him passage. Once inside Eunji steps out, giving a few soft gurgles and playing among the palace pillars. "You can tell she knows the place." comments Taehyung amused to see her.

"Yeah, well, how could she not." murmurs Jin in a very low voice.

Taehyung notices that this place is very quiet in itself. It almost forces you to be the same way. The guard directs him where to go and Jin stays behind to see the garden. Just as lively and organized as he remembers it. It's lovely that the pretty part has been maintained. Eunji hops across the grass and squirms on the dirt floor.

Jin takes a deep breath. It's not as quiet as he remembers. He hears footsteps, he hears birds back and forth, he hears rustling. There is more noise than he remembers. Or maybe it is now? He has no way of knowing. Jin walks down the hallway, letting Eunji play with the grass and stops, dropping his jaw slightly.

In the distance there is a dragon with ochre-colored scales and whitish fur on its back, it serves as a support for a person he walks with. Jin hurries to reach the same height. His stomach hurting and his chest tight with wild heart pounding. That person has blue hair, wears a pale, less formal hanbok.

"Jimin?"

Jin calls doubtfully and almost in a plea that it's him. The boy turns. Blue hair billowing softly, slitted, small, blue-iris eyes analyzing him with equal surprise. Jin comes down, indifferent to being in stockings and moves quickly towards him. He takes a deep breath, again and again with a crooked smile, shocked, full of illusion.

"You're alive," Jin says almost breathlessly. "You're... You're still an emperor's kisaeng!" he assumes, if he's here that must be why. "Really... you're fine..."

Jin stammers starting to cry. He thought who would be dead. That he couldn't stand what they were doing to him anymore, that Honjoon killed him in his fits of rage. His lips won't stop trembling. The little blue-haired boy, the one he cried so much for being gone, is still here. Jin can see him. He grew up and now clenches his hand on the back of Ji, the ochre-scaled dragon. Paralyzed and frightened.

"What do you care? You left."

Jin opens his eyes, surprised by such a direct claim How to say no to him? To Jimin it looks that way, to anyone it would look that way. Jin trembles in his seat.

"You left while I was being raped like you wanted me to do."

Jimin licks his lips and breathes through his mouth, his small hands clenched and Jin sees him shrink, as if he suddenly stops being the fifteen years old he is for this moment and goes back to being seven.