Desert • Flower | TaeJin || BOOK 3#

XXXVI. Peace in all households

The month at the palace went by very quickly. He was able to get along with Agust. As much as possible in striking contrast to the other nobles who have ever come here. For Taehyung it became a sad place even without intending to, hiding it perfectly, he can see that all the nobles inside those walls and those who most circulate them, are very broken and pitiful people.

All frightened of silence, setting fountains, leaving doors creaking as they slide, wind chimes. The one he considered most alien to that normality is Namjoon. As Jin said, the least affected in the situation with the emperor and who clearly, never had him bothering him in any way. However, in Jungkook, Taehyung saw something that seems to only be noticed by Jimin.

The fact that he adopts as much puppy and dog as he can to train it to feel that there is someone who cares for it. He wonders what his backstory would be to want something like that. It's tender and depressing at the same time. Taehyung saw him during very early evenings and mornings teaching canines how to behave, when to attack and so on.

Agust is very quiet, just like Jin when he first came home.

Jimin keeps a loving, kind and perfect gesture like Jin, pretending that everything is fine.

They are a darkened, dull and depressing family.

"My lord, you're going to suffocate me." says Jin without understanding the reason why Taehyung hugs him so tightly. The lord gives him a kiss on his neck.

"I just want to show you all my love."

"It's going to kill me."

"What a dramatic kisaeng I have." Taehyung jokes, smiling and half-opening his eyes.

Fortunately they are already leaving and he shouldn't leave Jin wasting away with them.

~ * * * ~

"Do you miss Jimin already? I don't think I've seen you so talkative." comments Taehyung in the car. Jin plays with the sleeves of his clothes. A hanbok gift from Agust. Green cloth with pink embroidery and a dwikkoji along with jade tteoljam to decorate his hair.

"I just think how happy I am that I got to see them again. That they're alive, well... I wish I could say I see them happy."

Taehyung purses his lips. He would say that between them they can understand what they are suffering from. A sort of peculiar and unwelcome ability to overlook the masks they wear even among themselves. Jin gives a deep sigh and looks out the window. It'll be a long time before they get home."

"I wish I was able to do something to help them, but... I don't even know how to help myself when I'm choking on my flowers."

"You have no duty to help them. I already told you that."

"When Empress Eunji ended her life, I couldn't understand why she did it. Why she did not flee. Her family would have welcomed her without hesitation, many friends, many people would have supported her... she decided to die instead of seeking that support" Jin comments, he licks his lips and looks towards Taehyung. "Maybe my dear empress didn't want to carry this guilt that I carry: to have run away because she can't stand it anymore, but leaving behind those who had her as a support."

"Jin, please-"

"She would have left without Agust, because if she tried to take him out, they wouldn't leave her alone; she didn't want to be seen suffering. She would have thrown everything away and run away alone... and the guilt would eat her alive. Maybe I should have done the same and then I wouldn't feel this way," Jin concluded, much to Taehyung's chagrin.

They didn't talk much that week, Taehyung didn't want to talk bad, angry about Jin's negative way of seeing him. He thought that bad mania was gone. Unfortunately, it will continue to stick to him inevitably.